We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology yet many people seem no closer to feeling happy in their lives.
Discuss.
Invention of electronic communication devices leads people to be easier to be connected with other people, even with whom that lives far away from home. However, some people would argue that such easiness do not bring them to be closer to happiness. Regardless of number of debates concerning happiness definition, that argument seems acceptable to me because today’s people, with an easy access to modern communication system, move their body and socialize less than ever before.
Currently, people are no longer need to walk or to travel in some distances for talking or delivering a message to other people. Such efforts are being replaced simply by typing or pushing any electronic device. Hence, people use their body less and, in turn, along with the fact that people less exercise as well, these all might cause a steady decrease in human health. That is the reason why today’s diseases can easily attack modern people.
On the other hand, replacement some human’s activity by electronic devices also leads people to less socialize. In fact, social life, particularly surrounding people, could help people to cope with daily problems, such as loneliness, bored, anxiety, etc. The less people socialize the less they have helper to deal with both personal and social problems.
To sum up, it seems undeniable to me that even people are surrounded by advanced technological invention, it does not mean deliver them directly to be closer to happiness, but it possibly leads them to be more stressful. An effective and smart use of electronic devices would be very helpful to counteract the negative effects.
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such easiness do not bring them
such easiness does not bring them
people are no longer need to walk or to travel in some distances
people no longer need to walk or to travel in some distances
replacement some human’s activity by electronic devices also leads people
replacement on some human’s activity by electronic devices also leads people
it does not mean deliver them
it does not mean to deliver them
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Words: 263 350
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 263 350
No. of Characters: 1314 1500
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.027 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.996 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.568 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 46 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.199 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.406 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.622 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.108 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5