In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that this is the responsibility of governments to solve the problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In various regions these days, parents have a tendency to become busier, leading to numerous children having to take care of themselves. This combined with the development of advertisements about unsuitable food for youngsters such as fast food might seriously affect their health, causing various illnesses, and the most popular is overweightness. While I admit that the government should be responsible for this issue to some extent, I also want to argue that parents and schools need to pay attention to their children to make sure that children can avoid obesity and unhealthy problems.
On the one hand, there are several reasons proving why authorities have to take a duty of taking care of children. First and foremost, children will have significant effects on the development of their country in the future. This means that they will become the main human resources participating in the production of a whole country, and also in the improvement of society. As a result, children's health does not control and protect properly, affecting productivity, economic enhancement, and decreasing the competitiveness of the country. Furthermore, the governments have power to implement laws and regulations, which is able to manage the commercials of junk food and also control the number of fast food that is sold for children. For instance, the authorities may provide various rules such as limiting or preventing the sale of fast food, soft drinks in school’s canteens.
On the other hand, although I agree that governments should take the responsibility of controlling children’s health, schools and parents also have equally significant roles. Initially, members of a family have the ability to manage their children’s eating plans directly, helping them avoid obesity or numerous unhealthy problems. For example, parents can prepare meals for their children with various vitamins and elements which are good for their health while controlling their consumption of junk food and soft drinks. Moreover, schools can also use the fund to provide more sports devices, encouraging children to start playing sports games such as basketball or volleyball. Schools are able to organize many sports festivals which will become one of the best chances for children to find suitable physical activity for them and also an opportunity for them to exercise.
In conclusion, controlling the overweightness and unhealthy problems of children is the responsibility of all governments, schools and parents. If this situation is decreasing day by day, the country will have the best quality human resource in the future.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 356, Rule ID: EN_GB_SIMPLE_REPLACE
Message: I is a common American expression, in British English it is more common to use: I
Suggestion: I
...e most popular is overweightness. While I admit that the government should be res...
^
Line 1, column 437, Rule ID: EN_GB_SIMPLE_REPLACE
Message: I is a common American expression, in British English it is more common to use: I
Suggestion: I
...ponsible for this issue to some extent, I also want to argue that parents and sch...
^
Line 5, column 29, Rule ID: EN_GB_SIMPLE_REPLACE
Message: I is a common American expression, in British English it is more common to use: I
Suggestion: I
...anteens. On the other hand, although I agree that governments should take the ...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, furthermore, if, may, moreover, so, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, such as, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 13.1623246493 68% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 7.85571142285 153% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 10.4138276553 173% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 7.30460921844 123% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 24.0651302605 108% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 41.998997996 114% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.3376753507 132% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2216.0 1615.20841683 137% => OK
No of words: 409.0 315.596192385 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.41809290954 5.12529762239 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49708221141 4.20363070211 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.00965581228 2.80592935109 107% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 176.041082164 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.501222493888 0.561755894193 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 661.5 506.74238477 131% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 5.43587174349 55% => OK
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.10420841683 190% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.2975951904 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 36.2012063853 49.4020404114 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 138.5 106.682146367 130% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.5625 20.7667163134 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.5625 7.06120827912 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 3.4128256513 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.177826819839 0.244688304435 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0669121153264 0.084324248473 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0572953043477 0.0667982634062 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.131642145444 0.151304729494 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0394498902256 0.056905535591 69% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.9 13.0946893788 129% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 50.2224549098 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 11.3001002004 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.45 12.4159519038 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.85 8.58950901804 103% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 78.4519038076 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 9.78957915832 143% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.1190380762 119% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.