Many people think that men should go out to work while women place is in the home To what extent do you agree or disagree

There have always been differences in the types of work men and women have done. In modern times, men and women can enjoy greater freedom of choice in terms of employment. Some might say that men should be the breadwinner of the family, while the duties to take care of the children or cleaning around the house mainly belongs to women. However, in my view, gender equality should be encouraged whenever it is possible.

Recently, there is more and more credible evidence saying that there are certain types of traits, which can be seen mainly in women, are more feasible to higher managerial posts. Women show greater empathy and better listening skill which can address problems related to human resource management in a gentle way, without causing any further resentment in the workforce. Furthermore, making occupations open to both gender has distinct advantages. Some jobs which are seen as male-dominated: police officer, for example, have more open posts for women since they have a greater understanding of domestic violence and a range of strategies to deal with the problem. It is not sensible to consider female is the weaker sex and put their talents to waste by not making the most of them.

While it is agreeable that some jobs requiring a great amount of physical strength, coal mining, and logging, for example, should not be held by women, these types of jobs take up only a small percentage of the whole job market. There are so many things that women could do and they can shine in any career field if equal opportunities are given to them.

The changes that result from allowing women into more types of occupations are subtle, but they are far-reaching. In order to achieve the most from this, people need to change their original perspectives about what women can do and give them more chances to show themselves as efficient as their male colleagues.

Votes
Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 298, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a gentle way" with adverb for "gentle"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ms related to human resource management in a gentle way, without causing any further resentment...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, furthermore, however, if, so, while, for example, in my view

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 13.1623246493 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 24.0651302605 87% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 41.998997996 107% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.3376753507 60% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1565.0 1615.20841683 97% => OK
No of words: 320.0 315.596192385 101% => OK
Chars per words: 4.890625 5.12529762239 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22948505376 4.20363070211 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58002959952 2.80592935109 92% => OK
Unique words: 184.0 176.041082164 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.575 0.561755894193 102% => OK
syllable_count: 493.2 506.74238477 97% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 5.43587174349 37% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 20.2975951904 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.0115539488 49.4020404114 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.384615385 106.682146367 113% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.6153846154 20.7667163134 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 7.06120827912 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.157172161281 0.244688304435 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0555101569101 0.084324248473 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0413985314505 0.0667982634062 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101859774468 0.151304729494 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0495399998955 0.056905535591 87% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 13.0946893788 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 50.2224549098 111% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 12.4159519038 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.53 8.58950901804 99% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 78.4519038076 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.1190380762 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.