Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people
Modern celebrities are well known because they are rich rather than that they have great achievements. This has a significant impact on the young people.
Firstly, the opinion and personality of the young generation are affected by the reason that celebrities are famous for. Their glamour and wealth make young people believe that money is more important than the other things in their life, and consider the properties as a symbol of social status of a person. Consequently, people, including the young ones, tend to admire those who are rich rather than those who are talented and have outstanding achievements. Secondly, the behaviors of young people change according to the main reason that a person would be famous for. In fact, examples of the famous people who they believe to be successful guide them to behave in a similar way, in which they would like to make themselves rich rather do things that the society can benefit from. As a result, the creativity that is needed by different types of work are disappearing among the young people.
On the other hand, however, the rich and famous people set an example to the young people which motivates them to work hard. For instant, the wealth of Bill Gates encourage a great number of young people devote themselves into the development of modern technology. In this way, young people would be leaded to some important and less attracted works.
In conclusion, the celebrities are more famous for their properties rather for the achievements set a bad example for the young generation, though it affect them positively sometimes. In fact, a great amount of works which are important do not make people rich easily, and hence the young people tend to be not interested in them because of the "successful" examples for them.
- With the increasing use and development of new technology,many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform 61
- The diagram below show the life of the salmon. 78
- Nowadays, celebrities increasingly have status of role models, in particular for younger people 61
- The diagram below show the life of the salmon. 78
- With the increasing use and development of new technology,many machines are now able to do the work which people used to perform 56
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 666, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a similar way" with adverb for "similar"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...e to be successful guide them to behave in a similar way, in which they would like to make thems...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 151, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'affects'?
Suggestion: affects
...ple for the young generation, though it affect them positively sometimes. In fact, a g...
^^^^^^
Line 13, column 185, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...gh it affect them positively sometimes. In fact, a great amount of works which are...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, firstly, hence, however, if, second, secondly, so, well, in conclusion, in fact, as a result, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 13.1623246493 114% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 7.85571142285 51% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 10.4138276553 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 7.30460921844 164% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 24.0651302605 104% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 41.998997996 86% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1505.0 1615.20841683 93% => OK
No of words: 300.0 315.596192385 95% => OK
Chars per words: 5.01666666667 5.12529762239 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.16179145029 4.20363070211 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79787816429 2.80592935109 100% => OK
Unique words: 137.0 176.041082164 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.456666666667 0.561755894193 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 460.8 506.74238477 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 5.43587174349 37% => OK
Article: 7.0 2.52805611222 277% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.3906744352 49.4020404114 94% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.769230769 106.682146367 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.0769230769 20.7667163134 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.1538461538 7.06120827912 144% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.01903807615 60% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 3.4128256513 29% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.450379884959 0.244688304435 184% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.160421668166 0.084324248473 190% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.108668267587 0.0667982634062 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.272381130081 0.151304729494 180% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0901090765396 0.056905535591 158% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 13.0946893788 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 50.2224549098 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.13 12.4159519038 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.58950901804 92% => OK
difficult_words: 59.0 78.4519038076 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 67.4157303371 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.