We live in the age of computer and Information Technology and with the tap of the finger, we can get virtually any information we need. The recent 3D presentations and the 360-degree views of museums, art galleries, streets, oceans, hills and virtually any place of the world are quite fascinating. This fire up the debate whether we really need to have public places like museum, art galleries or establishments like these as people can easily view and know about historic objects and artworks using a computer. Personally, I quite disagree with the given notion and believe that online information can never replace the needs of having real museums and art galleries.
First of all, only when we have museums, art galleries, exhibitions, or collection of historic objects and artworks, we can present them online. Without the existence of museums and galleries, online collection of historic objects or works would never have existed. Second, museums and art galleries preserve the real objects while online presentation has nothing to do with preserving those invaluable works and objects. Moreover, museums and galleries are maintained by a group of experts who knows which objects or works are historically important and decide to preserve them. On the contrary, websites and online resources are often run by ordinary people and maintaining online authenticity is not always possible.
Again, museums and art galleries offer firsthand experience to the audiences and viewers and represent the history, tradition and important artworks of a country. The computer-based information of an important historic work or object can never do the same. Online information about any particular artwork or historic object is a great way to learn about it but it can never be compared with the human experience of observing them personally.
Finally, museums and art galleries have great attractions among tourists and their online version can never actually generate a huge revenue that a real museums or art gallery would do. Children of schools might enjoy learning about arts, history etc online but unless they personally witness those, they will never become enthusiastic about history and art.
In conclusion, online presentation of historic places and artworks is a good way of letting people learn more about them but it is quite unrealistic that they would replace the real establishment of museums or art galleries around the world
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: NEEDS_FIXED[1]
Message: "needed Written" is only accepted in certain dialects. For something more widely acceptable, try 'Written' or 'to be Written'.
Suggestion: Written; To be Written
...s and art galleries will not be needed Written by IELTS Mentor IELTS Writing Task 2/ ...
^^^^^^^
Line 19, column 154, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'museum'?
Suggestion: museum
...lly generate a huge revenue that a real museums or art gallery would do. Children of sc...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, finally, first, moreover, really, second, so, then, thus, while, at least, in conclusion, first of all, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 13.1623246493 84% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 7.85571142285 229% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 39.0 10.4138276553 375% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 24.0651302605 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 41.998997996 119% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.3376753507 168% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2440.0 1615.20841683 151% => OK
No of words: 463.0 315.596192385 147% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.26997840173 5.12529762239 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.20363070211 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75595237331 2.80592935109 98% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 176.041082164 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483801295896 0.561755894193 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 739.8 506.74238477 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 16.0721442886 118% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.2975951904 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.6551537194 49.4020404114 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 128.421052632 106.682146367 120% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.3684210526 20.7667163134 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.05263157895 7.06120827912 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 12.0 4.38176352705 274% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.01903807615 40% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.9879759519 75% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 3.4128256513 234% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.444345657795 0.244688304435 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.149885571048 0.084324248473 178% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.167987001885 0.0667982634062 251% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.180210812759 0.151304729494 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.209095564254 0.056905535591 367% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 13.0946893788 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 50.2224549098 94% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.4159519038 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.27 8.58950901804 96% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 78.4519038076 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 9.78957915832 112% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.1190380762 115% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.