Schools should teach children some academic subjects which will be beneficial to their future careers. Therefore, other subjects such as music and sports are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is true that schools have become increasingly vocation-oriented in recent years, with integrating many work-based courses in their curriculum. Some academicians advocate that sport and music classes should be cancelled in exchange for more academic classes, in an effort to help students to beat other jobseekers. Personally, I completely agree with this point of view.
The main reason why I believe other non-academic subjects like sports and music are not necessary is that few employers are interested in a job applicant’s performance as music lover or sports fan. Instead, they are keen to assess candidates’ academic records and professional skills. At a time when business grows complex and skill-based, the evidence that candidates have sufficient knowledge relating to their job profession is more capable of attracting the eye of recruiters. A student excelling in a subject is far more marketable in the job market than one playing a musical instrument adeptly, or displaying talents in a sport.
In addition, students, in most cases, engage themselves in sports or music spontaneously. There is no need to formalize their pastimes, when the amount of time they spent in academic activities is extremely inadequate. Teenagers and young adults have plenty of energy to expend daily. Even when heavily loaded with learning tasks, they exert themselves for outdoor and group activities. They gather for sport activities and music concerts, but seldom review their textbooks after school. Given these elements, the top priority for educators is to maximise students’ contact with academic classes at school and to recommend sports and music as extracurricular activities only.
In conclusion, I believe that music and sport classes are not essential in the school curriculum because they are not important to students’ future employability and pupils can still immerse themselves in music or sport activities in their free time. Therefore, these classes should be cancelled so that students are more likely to commit themselves to academic courses, which are vital for their future careers.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 326 350
No. of Characters: 1738 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.249 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.331 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.919 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.733 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.858 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.318 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.043 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5