Shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people.Why do you think it is like that. Do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping?

It is believed that, nowadays, youngsters usually spend their free time to go shopping. In a modernized world, searching for new clothes became the most popular hobby. In my opinion, shopping could be considered as a waste of time and younger people should be discouraged from shopping, and try to develop more useful skills

First point is distinction of modern young people's values and old-fashioned ones. Although they are busy at school and should make their homework, they always will find a free time to go shopping because they are fascinated by it. This type of activity is prioritized and became must thing to do. Everybody wants to show what kind of latest smartphone they possessed or what is a brand of their new trousers.However, the way they look affects the way they behave. For instance, If young person is surrounded by people who have new shoes, his self-esteem will get lower because he/she cannot afford it. As a result, everybody starts to laugh at him/her because of his old shoes.

This brings me to my second point, some youngsters are interested by choosing new clothes and sort them into different categories, such as winter season, summer wearings and etc. In their opinion, shopping is a one way of developing designers' skills but it has not got any useful tools. What is more, it is not only time spent on a unnecessary things, but also forgetting about future life style because shopping cannot be considered as a professional future job. For example, person who always go shopping does not develop and improve his existing skills, which can contribute his/her life and be helpful in choosing future life. Consequently, as an adult this young person will face unemployment problems.

To sum up, there are lots of people who like go shopping and forget about main activities in their lives. As far as I am concerned, this type of people should re-think about main purposes and goals that they want to achieve and realize that shopping does not benefit them in this field

Votes
Average: 7.3 (1 vote)

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 153, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[10]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'will' and 'find'.
Suggestion: will always find
...ol and should make their homework, they always will find a free time to go shopping because they...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 409, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...r what is a brand of their new trousers.However, the way they look affects the way they...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 171, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
... such as winter season, summer wearings and etc. In their opinion, shopping is a one way...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 331, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...t is more, it is not only time spent on a unnecessary things, but also forgetting...
^
Line 5, column 345, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'thing'?
Suggestion: thing
...is not only time spent on a unnecessary things, but also forgetting about future life ...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, first, however, if, look, second, so, for example, for instance, kind of, such as, as a result, in my opinion, to sum up, what is more

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 13.1623246493 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 10.4138276553 144% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 24.0651302605 166% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 41.998997996 88% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.3376753507 36% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1668.0 1615.20841683 103% => OK
No of words: 341.0 315.596192385 108% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89149560117 5.12529762239 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.29722995808 4.20363070211 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.66615528445 2.80592935109 95% => OK
Unique words: 194.0 176.041082164 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.568914956012 0.561755894193 101% => OK
syllable_count: 509.4 506.74238477 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 5.43587174349 129% => OK
Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 0.809619238477 247% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.2975951904 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.1965027556 49.4020404114 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.2 106.682146367 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7333333333 20.7667163134 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.6 7.06120827912 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.67935871743 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.9879759519 100% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.15700214731 0.244688304435 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0514702156594 0.084324248473 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0442393613216 0.0667982634062 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0909993170381 0.151304729494 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0232721709094 0.056905535591 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 13.0946893788 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 50.2224549098 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 11.3001002004 95% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.38 12.4159519038 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.78 8.58950901804 91% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 78.4519038076 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.1190380762 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.7795591182 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.