In some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage

There is often debate about the issue as to whether children would be a career prospect as well as fulfilling the dream of high salary jobs in the future by trying for their best has remained a source of controversy. Personally, I firmly believe that it has both pros and cons with youngster that choosing this direction. I would write up a few causes to clarify in this essay below.
On the one hand, Taking the efforts as much as possible will reach advantageous merits by several radical reasons. Firstly, It can motivate and inspire them to overcome some hardships and pursue their interests, maybe that a tertiary education or make their own possibilities. Secondly, It can help them develop a positive mentality and a certain patience when conducting a research and make a clear distinction. Furthermore, It can make them focused and determined from the start of their journey, simultaneously, They may alter some unwanted characteristics and give some right decisions. By these factors, I also convinced that Trying hard in a certain level will bring it with many beneficial values.
On the other hand, This notion also keeps a counterproductive direction through some unwanted reasons. It may mislead them into spending too much time and effort on the tasks in which hard work plays little role or where luck and chance are more important. This can lead to an insufficient attitude and go in the negative direction. Also, It may cause delusion and disappointment when they fail to achieve their unrealistic ideas, Giving rise to trying hard without practicing the optimum of brain that could lead to wrong decisions. Another impact can not be ignored that related to moral values and unethical behaviours in order to meet those ambitious goals or are likely to be a failure when they don't achieve them right from the first challenges

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 40, Rule ID: WHETHER[6]
Message: Can you shorten this phrase to just 'whether', or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to"?
Suggestion: whether
There is often debate about the issue as to whether children would be a career prospect as ...
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Line 1, column 354, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'clarifying'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'cause' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: clarifying
...irection. I would write up a few causes to clarify in this essay below. On the one hand...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...causes to clarify in this essay below. On the one hand, Taking the efforts as m...
^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... bring it with many beneficial values. On the other hand, This notion also keep...
^^^
Line 3, column 276, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nce are more important. This can lead to an insufficient attitude and go in the n...
^^
Line 3, column 705, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...or are likely to be a failure when they dont achieve them right from the first chall...
^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e them right from the first challenges
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, furthermore, if, may, second, secondly, so, well, as to, as well as, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 6.0 13.1623246493 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 7.85571142285 165% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 10.4138276553 144% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 24.0651302605 145% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 36.0 41.998997996 86% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.3376753507 84% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1537.0 1615.20841683 95% => OK
No of words: 309.0 315.596192385 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.97411003236 5.12529762239 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.1926597562 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8349219014 2.80592935109 101% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 176.041082164 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.611650485437 0.561755894193 109% => OK
syllable_count: 477.0 506.74238477 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.60771543086 93% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 0.0 2.52805611222 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.76152304609 63% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 16.0721442886 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 23.0 20.2975951904 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.3286287005 49.4020404114 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.230769231 106.682146367 111% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.7692307692 20.7667163134 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.30769230769 7.06120827912 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 3.0 4.38176352705 68% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 7.0 5.01903807615 139% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.67935871743 104% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 3.4128256513 59% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.230330244433 0.244688304435 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0667746360221 0.084324248473 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0411099875516 0.0667982634062 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.136726530195 0.151304729494 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0296741819238 0.056905535591 52% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 13.0946893788 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 50.2224549098 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 11.3001002004 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.4159519038 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.02 8.58950901804 105% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 78.4519038076 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 9.78957915832 107% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 10.1190380762 111% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.7795591182 111% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Minimum four paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.