Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Submitted by Puzan on Sat, 07/13/2019 - 03:19

While some people argue that we should emphasize the importance of competition when
teaching children, others take the view that focusing on cooperation is more important. In my
opinion, it is better for children to be taught to cooperate.

On one side of the argument, there are people who hold the opinion that encouraging
competitiveness in children will yield better results. The most compelling reason for believing
this is that competitiveness prepares them for life in the real world. When students grow up,
they will need to compete with other students for a place in university. Furthermore, there’s
no doubt that in the job market, people will be competing with many others to get a good job.
Another reason is that this encourages them to excel in everything they do. When there’s
competition, everyone is challenged to do their best. For example, if there’s a prize for the
student with the highest marks in a particular subject, every student will be motivated to do
his or her best. This encourages growth and the pursuit of excellence.

Despite the above arguments, I am of the view that instilling a sense of cooperation in
children will prove more beneficial. Indeed, one reason why I take this position is that in
many instances, winning is not everything. A society focused solely on winning and
competing ignores other important traits like compassion and generosity. Such traits are
important for a proper functioning of society. Furthermore, it is my opinion that achieving
one’s goal often requires the ability to cooperate, rather than compete, with others. In society
and work, cooperation and teamwork is often required. For instance, a company will only
achieve its overall goal if all parts work together and complement each other.

In conclusion, while both views are commonly held in society, I believe that cooperation is a
more important value. This is because children need to understand that winning against
another is not the most important thing and that cooperation often enables them to achieve
their goals. Given this situation, it is recommended that schools should put more effort into
promoting teamwork activities.

Votes
Average: 5.6 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic

Transition Words or Phrases used:
furthermore, if, so, still, while, for example, for instance, in conclusion, no doubt

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 13.1623246493 144% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 7.85571142285 127% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 7.30460921844 233% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 38.0 24.0651302605 158% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 42.0 41.998997996 100% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.3376753507 168% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1880.0 1615.20841683 116% => OK
No of words: 351.0 315.596192385 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35612535613 5.12529762239 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.20363070211 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96582428136 2.80592935109 106% => OK
Unique words: 187.0 176.041082164 106% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.532763532764 0.561755894193 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 573.3 506.74238477 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.10420841683 238% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 16.0721442886 124% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.2975951904 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.4831480581 49.4020404114 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.0 106.682146367 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.55 20.7667163134 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.25 7.06120827912 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 25.0 4.38176352705 571% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.67935871743 184% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.9879759519 25% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 3.4128256513 88% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.216068229064 0.244688304435 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0615777107137 0.084324248473 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0636425792603 0.0667982634062 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0568886326963 0.151304729494 38% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0552509179902 0.056905535591 97% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 13.0946893788 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 50.2224549098 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 11.3001002004 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.51 12.4159519038 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.58950901804 95% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 78.4519038076 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.1190380762 87% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Maximum five paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 56.1797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.