Children rely too much on the technology, like computers, smart phones, video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys and playing outside with friends would be better for children’s development.
“playing” an inextricable part of our life, especially our childhood. Every child has right to play and entertain himself/herself with enjoyable things, like computer games, books, playing with their own friends, and etc. but when children’s developments with these kinds of entertainments advanced, we have to choose which of these entertainments are fruitful. A statement about children’s entertainments said that children rely much more on the technology instead of playing with simpler toys or playing outside with their friends today, and these actions effect children’s development which is achieved by none technological games. Actually, I strictly agree with this statement for two main reasons which in ensuing paragraphs the rationale behind it will be elaborated.
To commence with, playing outside with other children makes children become more sociable. One of the most indispensable part of human’s development is that how people should communicate with each other? In my opinion, people become well sociable if they learn how to communicate in their childhood. Considering this, playing is one way to connect with other and knowing how to deal with them according to different characteristics that everyone has. A recent research can easily illuminate what I mentioned. In that research, scientists illustrated that children who are comfortable in making connection with other people had learned it since they were child; therefore, it shows that people’s traits stem from their youth.
Another significant reason that deserves attention is that children need to be active and discharge their energy. Considering this, children who are just sitting and playing computer games and other technological plays like this, not capable to discharge her/his energy and when it comes to other activities, like sleeping, which need less energy they always have a problem. For instance, when I was a child, I abhorred to go to my cousin home in that she always playing computer games and ignored me. Her mother always complaint about her daughter’s sleeping because she had full energy and, in this order, she could not sleep. When her mother brought her to a doctor, the doctor warned her about her salutary. Therefore, not only technological plays cause not children’s developments, but also endanger their healthiness.
With all the above factors taken into consideration, children should not waste their time on the technology, instead, they should play outside with their friends in order to learn much more things about life. However, children who are eager in technology must cut it down and beside these games, give themselves a chance to paly outside with their friends.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-09-02 | Negarmaleki | 76 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
'playing' an inextricable part...
^^^
Line 1, column 227, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
... books, playing with their own friends, and etc. but when children's developments w...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...tionale behind it will be elaborated. To commence with, playing outside with o...
^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...'s traits stem from their youth. Another significant reason that deserves...
^^^
Line 5, column 838, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s, but also endanger their healthiness. With all the above factors taken into...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, however, if, so, therefore, well, for instance, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.0286738351 181% => OK
Pronoun: 61.0 43.0788530466 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 68.0 52.1666666667 130% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 8.0752688172 111% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2318.0 1977.66487455 117% => OK
No of words: 420.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.51904761905 4.8611393121 114% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.1270562396 2.67179642975 117% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.547619047619 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 683.1 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.1023807705 48.9658058833 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 122.0 100.406767564 122% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1052631579 20.6045352989 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.31578947368 5.45110844103 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.325346548303 0.236089414692 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104422432418 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0842412938689 0.0737576698707 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.203177168207 0.150856017488 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0705197064693 0.0645574589148 109% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 11.7677419355 133% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 58.1214874552 85% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 10.1575268817 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.74 10.9000537634 135% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.22 8.01818996416 103% => OK
difficult_words: 93.0 86.8835125448 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.