Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children rely too much on technology, such as computers, smart phones, as well as video games for fun and entertainment. Playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for children’s development.
In the past few decades, the importance of playing for children development has been analyzing due to the fact that nowadays, children may face many more challenges than before, so their development is very important. Some people may possess the conviction that children who play with modern games such as video games are more likely to be developed. However, others might believe that playing simpler toys or playing outside is more beneficial for children’s development. I subscribe to the former idea. In what follows, I will elaborate on my reasons.
To begin with, new methods of playing are more challenging, which means children who are playing in this way will be forced to use both of their brain’s hemisphere, so the performance of their brain will increase dramatically. To put it another way, the more children experience challenges the more they will learn how to come up with various solutions, and this will give rise to increase in their ability to think. In the research conducted in my country in 2020, two group of children were analyzed in terms of their brain performance. The first group were children who always played video games, and the second group were children who played with their friends. The results revealed that the former group were more able to solve more challenging problems that were given than the other group. These children putted forward more creative solutions and were smarter than others. Had these children not played in such ways, they would not have been capable of being smarter.
The second noteworthy reason to be mentioned is that new technology-based games are more instructive than the traditional game. In other words, children who play these kinds of game are more likely to learn new things that provided them with the golden opportunity to be developed with remarkable ease. My little sister’s experience is a compelling example of this. when she was a child, she was not able to learn mathematic readily. The math was so hard for her that she felt that she hated that. Although she tried to learn it and spent too many hours studying it, her grades were almost always low. Afterward, my father bought a video game for her, in which people should answered many math questions to be able to go to the next step. After two months playing this game, it turns out to be completely effective in increasing her knowledge in math. Then, her grades in math increased noticeably. Besides, her ability to analyzed different complex problems went over too. This shows that video games helped my sister development.
The above-mentioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that modern playing methods are better for children development because these types of games not only help children experience some challenging issues and learn how to solve them, but also provided them with informative information that is useful for their development. It is suggested that parents provide children with these useful thins so that they can develop rapidly.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2021-05-29 | m.ramezanii1987@gmail.com | 73 | view |
| 2021-05-29 | m.ramezanii1987@gmail.com | 78 | view |
| 2020-11-12 | Farahmad | 70 | view |
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- TPO21
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 366, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...rience is a compelling example of this. when she was a child, she was not able to le...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, however, if, may, second, so, then, such as, in other words, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 31.0 15.1003584229 205% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 23.0 11.0286738351 209% => Less relative clauses wanted (maybe 'which' is over used).
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 63.0 52.1666666667 121% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2506.0 1977.66487455 127% => OK
No of words: 498.0 407.700716846 122% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03212851406 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.48103885553 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.64418414849 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.493975903614 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 755.1 618.680645161 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 7.0 3.08781362007 227% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.6003584229 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 65.4422982482 48.9658058833 134% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.24 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.92 20.6045352989 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.04 5.45110844103 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.302751029681 0.236089414692 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0885577553118 0.076458572812 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0818806121094 0.0737576698707 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.210770320529 0.150856017488 140% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.054975071764 0.0645574589148 85% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 11.7677419355 104% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.62 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 86.8835125448 110% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.