Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Famous entertainers and athletes deserve to have more privacy than they have now. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
In this era of the internet where information is exchanging at an unprecedented speed between us, it’s not surprising that entertainers and athletes often appear on our phones. The characteristic of their job constantly put them under society’s judgment, and eventually, even after work, they are still being watched by the public. I believe that they actually deserve even more privacy than general people because being exposed to the public is their job, and once they get home, they are no more than normal people.
As discussed in the introduction, athletes and entertainers deserve privacy because while they are role models, but meanwhile, also normal people at home. When their every action on the screen is always being magnified and judged, they need time for themselves to relax with no voice from outside. The fact that society’s eye is constantly on them even after work can often exhaust them.
Celebrity plays the role of society’s models for the public, and their fans in particular. As a result, any inappropriate behavior can bring negative consequences to society because the public may blindly follow it. When entertainers are working, they tried to be as good of a model as they can be, but after the spotlight has turned away if privacy is not concerned for them, their behavior after work, which is likely to be different from their performance in front of the camera, might be leaked to the internet and caused lots of issues.
Lastly, why not put yourself into a celebrity’s shoes. Imagine your everyday-behavior being judged by the public, or being stalk by paparazzi, you will feel as if you are under surveillance without a doubt, which is truly a tremendous pain.
To sum up, athletes and entertainers are no different than normal people, so they certainly deserve privacy, not to mention that they already have no privacy as their job is to be played on screen.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-24 | nikki07hung | 66 | view |
| 2022-12-03 | tststs | 76 | view |
| 2022-10-25 | _sta | 66 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 371, Rule ID: AFFORD_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the infinitive: 'to even'
Suggestion: to even
...c. I believe that they actually deserve even more privacy than general people becaus...
^^^^
Line 5, column 56, Rule ID: RATHER_THEN[2]
Message: Did you mean 'different 'from''? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
Suggestion: from
...letes and entertainers are no different than normal people, so they certainly deserv...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, if, lastly, may, so, still, while, in particular, as a result, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 43.0788530466 84% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1592.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 318.0 407.700716846 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.00628930818 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.48103885553 94% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81763287558 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 176.0 212.727598566 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.553459119497 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 491.4 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 20.6003584229 58% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 65.7893840643 48.9658058833 134% => OK
Chars per sentence: 132.666666667 100.406767564 132% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5 20.6045352989 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.75 5.45110844103 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173125993509 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0639707212198 0.076458572812 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0658165853738 0.0737576698707 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.110360406893 0.150856017488 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0555499365837 0.0645574589148 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.07 10.9000537634 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.