There is a controversial debate about where governments should invest. Some groups people hold the idea that governments should in athletes. Other groups may take the opposite point and believe that governments should invest in Arts. From my vintage point, I concur with the latter groups and believe that governments should spend more money on arts. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my viewpoints through three main reasons.
The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that governments investing in arts create awareness about cultures. In fact, people would be visiting more art exhibitions, museums, and, art centers. A vivid example can be given to shed light on what was elaborated above is the investment that the government made to build the cultural fine art building in San Francisco which is a marvel that every body is visiting from all over the world. This cultural center have made people interested to learn more about their culture and history. Thus, it had a huge benefit to the society.
The second reason which deserves some attention is the profits the governments gain from investing in such places. In other words, investing in arts could bring financial rewards to the government. For instance, the entrance fees which the government charges for people to get into these art places are around $20 per person. thus, 1000 visitors each day means that the government is making around $20 000 each day which is significantly high
Although the aforementioned points are the first reasons to cross my mind, they are by no means the only reasons. In fact, There are other subtle point which is worth to be mentioned.The trustworthy, refreshingly, intelligently study which was conducted in my country showed that governments prefer to invest in art. This study enrolled 120 people with higher education and from different specialties inorder not to be bias.
To wrap up, contemplating all the aforementioned reasons one soon realizes that there is so much rewards from governments investing in arts rather than athletes. If it goes in this direction, then people would not only be interested in learning about arts, but supporting it as well.
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- TPO 24 Integrated TOEFL Writing 73
- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Governments should spend more money in support of the arts than in support of athletics such as state-sponsored Olympic teams. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 70
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 243, Rule ID: VINTAGE_POINT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'vantage point'?
Suggestion: vantage point
...ernments should invest in Arts. From my vintage point, I concur with the latter groups and be...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 4, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...oints through three main reasons. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is...
^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... it had a huge benefit to the society. The second reason which deserves some at...
^^^
Line 5, column 325, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...ese art places are around 0 per person. thus, 1000 visitors each day means that the ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 184, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...le point which is worth to be mentioned.The trustworthy, refreshingly, intelligentl...
^^^
Line 9, column 93, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...sons one soon realizes that there is so much rewards from governments investing in a...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, second, so, then, thus, well, for instance, in fact, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 15.1003584229 146% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 24.0 43.0788530466 56% => OK
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1828.0 1977.66487455 92% => OK
No of words: 357.0 407.700716846 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12044817927 4.8611393121 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34677393335 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79903844193 2.67179642975 105% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 212.727598566 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.546218487395 0.524837075471 104% => OK
syllable_count: 540.0 618.680645161 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.59856630824 63% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.8163601267 48.9658058833 110% => OK
Chars per sentence: 101.555555556 100.406767564 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.8333333333 20.6045352989 96% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.88888888889 5.45110844103 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162759811414 0.236089414692 69% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0538869652005 0.076458572812 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0335516724179 0.0737576698707 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0912867693762 0.150856017488 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329766713237 0.0645574589148 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 11.7677419355 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 86.8835125448 79% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.