Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In order to become financially responsible adults, children should learn to manage their own money at young age.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

The responsibility is a very important in our lives. The responsibility defines as we are taking a care in any situation in our lives. Everyone has a family; we should take a care in our family. Some people believe that children should learn to manage their own money at a young age; others would disagree. In my view, I agree with this statement for two important reasons.

The main reason is that we should increase acknowledge in our children. If they are knowing everything around them and they can extinguish between right things and bad things. They will be successful in their life. Not only will they become financially responsible but also they will be good persons in future. For example, when I was in the college. My professor was teaching us about how to take responsible in your company. He said about man was learning his son to be manager for his company. His son was a fourteen years old, his son was so smart. After that, his son started his business with his father, and he made a good money. As you can see, it is necessary to learn our children.

Another reason for my opinion is that when we will learn our children how they will be so confidence in the future. Because their future is so important to succeed. For instance, When I was a kid, my father was learning me how I should save my money because I was spending my money fast. After that I took important lesson from my father because he saved my life because money is mean a live. Now I can have controlled and managed my budget. This experience taught me that we should watch our children, and we should not leave them alone.

In sum, children should learn to manage their own money at a young age. Not only will they increase acknowledge in their lives but they also will feel more confidence.

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Comments

The responsibility is a very important in our lives
The responsibility is very important in our lives

Sentence: Another reason for my opinion is that when we will learn our children how they will be so confidence in the future.
Description: A qualifier, pre is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to so and confidence

He said about man was learning his son to be manager for his company.
He said a man was teaching his son to be the manager for his company.

it is necessary to learn our children.
it is necessary to teach our children.

my father was learning me
my father was teaching me

Sentence: After that I took important lesson from my father because he saved my life because money is mean a live.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to is and mean

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Different Words: 154 200

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Suggestions to improve overall English language:

1. Read a good grammar book and do some grammar exercises

2. Do more reading, like English magazines, newspapers, blogs...

3. Do more intensive listening:
http://www.testbig.com/toefl-basic-listening-practice
http://www.testbig.com/toefl-intermediate-listening-practice
http://www.testbig.com/toefl-advanced-listening-practice

4. Do more extensive listening, like:
Listen to radios like VOA, BBC, Watch TVs like CNN

5. Find a speaking partner and talk more
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 17 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 324 350
No. of Characters: 1414 1500
No. of Different Words: 154 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.243 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.364 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.43 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 88 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 59 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.087 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.539 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.391 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.459 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.223 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5