Advanced technologies have offered people massive varieties of computer games that some people believe that they are fun to spend their leisure time with. However, in my opinion, I strongly think video games are a big distraction for people from their social life, a waste of money and main cause for the aggression which spread in the last few years.
First of all, many video games are related to violence like fighting with zombies or fighting in a war. Many studies proved that violence is related to computer games. For instance, my nephew used to play video games for hours. One day his teacher called his mom and said that he hit one of his friends and he is more aggressive than before . In a few weeks from this call, his mother took to the doctor to treat him and help him stop his bad behavior and the first advice was to stop computer games immediately. We can see the spread of school-shooting in the last few years, most specialists in psychology relate this to video games.
Secondly, when video games were invented to spend free time playing, this affected people's lives that most people who play computer games do not get enough exercise. Many studies pointed out that fifty percent of people who play computer games are overweight. For example, when I was teenager, I started playing computer games for hours and I thought it was fun. In addition to that I started eating in my room and my food was not healthy. I ended up with extra 30 pounds. I worked hard later on to lose it.
Finally, I believe that video games affect the children psychologically by teaching them violence and affect them physically by getting more obese.
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- TPO 50 Integrated Writing Task 57
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 340, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...ds and he is more aggressive than before . In a few weeks from this call, his moth...
^^
Line 3, column 507, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...unds. I worked hard later on to lose it. Finally, I believe that video games affe...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, as to, for example, for instance, in addition, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 15.1003584229 73% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 1.0 9.8082437276 10% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 43.0788530466 93% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 52.1666666667 69% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1376.0 1977.66487455 70% => OK
No of words: 283.0 407.700716846 69% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.86219081272 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.10153676581 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89803064694 2.67179642975 108% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 212.727598566 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.565371024735 0.524837075471 108% => OK
syllable_count: 420.3 618.680645161 68% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.3908299346 48.9658058833 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.2857142857 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2142857143 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.92857142857 5.45110844103 164% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.175442935135 0.236089414692 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0638258910336 0.076458572812 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0486673953856 0.0737576698707 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108086104603 0.150856017488 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0378046621803 0.0645574589148 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.91 10.9000537634 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.03 8.01818996416 100% => OK
difficult_words: 61.0 86.8835125448 70% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.