Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Telephone has greater influence on people’s lives than
Television has.
In this sophisticated world, technology affects human life in many aspects, but as we all know some technologies made a breakthrough in the lifestyle of people. Television and Telephone are two monumental inventions which made major changes. But which one of them had a greater influence on our lives is a debate. Many people consider the great advantage of Telephones, which superseded unnecessary commutes, while others like me acknowledge the great impact of Television. I will illuminate my idea in the following.
First and foremost Television is made for transmitting information to a group of people, despite Telephone that only one person can receive information on the other side. Therefor it can affect more people at once, which could comprise a whole nation. That is why politicians are highly interested in using it as a great tool in order to filter the news based on their own preferences. As a result they can manipulate people’s subconscious and incept desired thoughts. For example, in my country there are a group of people who still extol the government in spite of their cruel acts. Because they only watch channels controlled by the government and using foreign satellite channels is prohibited strongly. Had they changed their minds and the way they see cruel acts of government, if only they had the chance to watch those foreign channels alongside governed channels.
Second reason is related not to politics but to people’s behavior after using the Television. We can send only the voice through the phone cables, but Television can transmit another important kind of data such as images. This moving images made us able to play a diverse range of movies on Television, which are sometimes very popular among people. People would watch movies, series and shows just for the fun of it, unaware of the effect of those words which been said during those videos. Those words and beliefs would go deep into their mind and without considering they start to imitate some behaviors from the movies. As an example, again in my country there was a Television series called "Pavarchin". It was only days after broadcasting the series when majority of people were using phrases of it in their routine conversation unknowingly, and even there were many accessories related to that show which has been made due to its phenomenal popularity.
To summarize all the above, we recognized how huge is the role of Television in people’s thoughts and behaviors, more than Telephone, and great politicians or anyone who desires power of controlling people’s minds are using it deliberately. My advice to all men in power and governors is using it as a way to improve their people culture and supersede false beliefs with good ones.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 188, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'effect'?
Suggestion: effect
...tion on the other side. Therefor it can affect more people at once, which could comprise a ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 509, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'groups'?
Suggestion: groups
... For example, in my country there are a group of people who still extol the governmen...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, second, so, still, while, for example, kind of, such as, as a result, in spite of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 18.0 13.8261648746 130% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 60.0 52.1666666667 115% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2305.0 1977.66487455 117% => OK
No of words: 454.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.07709251101 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91033184338 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 249.0 212.727598566 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54845814978 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 739.8 618.680645161 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 50.2934247335 48.9658058833 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.761904762 100.406767564 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.619047619 20.6045352989 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.61904761905 5.45110844103 85% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 11.8709677419 101% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.128640785437 0.236089414692 54% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0394646692372 0.076458572812 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0412329779166 0.0737576698707 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0851561851368 0.150856017488 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0317872420904 0.0645574589148 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.3 11.7677419355 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 58.1214874552 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 10.9000537634 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 113.0 86.8835125448 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.