Financial matters are one of the inextricable parts of human life because all of the people engage with economic matters when they become adults. If it is asked whether or not children should learn to manage their own money at young ages, due to the controversial nature of this question, there is not a general agreement on this issue. I am, however, to a great extent of conviction that children should learn to manage their own money at young ages due to two important reasons. The following paragraphs will aptly substantiate my personal stance.
The main reason is that this method will help them to learn self-sufficiency. It means when they understand how to manage their money they will find many ways to save that better and to afford the expenses of their lives much more easily. For example, I remember when I was five years old my father gave me a little specific amount of money per week. When I asked him to give me more, he always said that this is enough and mentioned that "you can afford your expenses with this amount". In the first weeks, I had many problems such as arriving home after school because I didn't have enough money to take a taxi. After a while, I could overcome the problems by finding some alternative ways. For instance, instead of taking a taxi I used public transportations like trains and buses and they were much cheaper. As a result of that, in my ongoing life, all of those ways, which I learned to afford my life's expenses, are helping me to be economically powerful among my friends. As you can see, I wouldn't have become self-sufficient, if I didn't learn how to manage my own money.
Another reason is that people, who have learned to handle their own money, will become better managers. To put it in other words, these people can earn money much easier since they understood and recognized how to do that. For instance, as I grew up my father always forced me to be independent and helped me to learn how to handle my economic problems. As a result, I am the most wealthy and affluent person among my relatives and colleagues.
To put the issue into perspective, in spite of the fact that some may believe children should be economically free when they are young, I think it is better to teach them how to manage their own money. Not only will they become self-sufficient, but also they will learn how to earn money better and become more powerful managers.
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- TOEFL T P O 14 - Integrated Writing Task 3
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 75, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...nextricable parts of human life because all of the people engage with economic matters whe...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 162, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...when they become adults. If it is asked whether or not children should learn to manage their o...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 584, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...as arriving home after school because I didnt have enough money to take a taxi. After...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1006, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...ful among my friends. As you can see, I wouldnt have become self-sufficient, if I didnt...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1048, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...uldnt have become self-sufficient, if I didnt learn how to manage my own money. An...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, so, while, for example, for instance, i think, such as, as a result, in other words, in spite of, to a great extent
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 9.8082437276 143% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 11.0286738351 145% => OK
Pronoun: 69.0 43.0788530466 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 52.1666666667 100% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1992.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 431.0 407.700716846 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.62180974478 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.55637350225 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63474214324 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.503480278422 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 626.4 618.680645161 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 20.1344086022 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 35.9222768251 48.9658058833 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.842105263 100.406767564 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.6842105263 20.6045352989 110% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.94736842105 5.45110844103 146% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28200130003 0.236089414692 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0889343843487 0.076458572812 116% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0913964305776 0.0737576698707 124% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.199325844182 0.150856017488 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.109134711051 0.0645574589148 169% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 58.1214874552 99% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.37 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 86.8835125448 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 10.0537634409 107% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.