People in modern society are bombarded by advertisements everyday. On the streets, in the subway and on televisions, they are shown products that they are supposed to desire and buy. That seems to be a normal thing in this consumption led society. However, a question presents itself recently: whether TV commercials should be made for young children who are aged two to five? In my view, such commercials should be banned for the reasons as follow.
First, commercials on TV targeting youngsters may create tension and conflicts between the kids and their parents. Raising a child could be quite stressful for young couples who usually do not have much savings and experience. They may work very hard from morning till evening just to make the ends meet. However, young kids under five cannot understand this and they may resent it when their parents do not buy them whatever they have seen on the TV. Take my nephew, who is now four years old, as an example. One day he saw a commercial on the television showing a fancy toy car and he wanted it badly. His parents refused to buy it for him since he already had quite a few toy cars, and that toy car was quite expensive. My nephew started to make scenes and gave his parents headaches. There is a definite link between his misbehavior and that commercial. It showed that all the kids had that car and they were having a lot fun together. My nephew was thus deluded that everyone had that car except him.
What’s more, TV commercials directed for young kids may corrupt their minds and deteriorate their physical health. Some unscrupulous companies make advertisements full of scenes of violence and the language used is questionable. That can often be seen in toy commercials. That will certainly draw kids attention. What concerns me most is that kids that are under five cannot tell what is right and what is wrong. They just imitate whatever they see and hear. No doubt the violence and abused language will have an impact on them and cause their future misbehavior. Also, we can see fast food commercials on TV that are made for youngsters. Burgers, potato chips and carbonated drinks are all detrimental to people’s health. Yet they are delicious and they look quite good on TV. Children will keep pestering their parents to buy them those junks. As a result, we have more overweight kids than ever.
As is discussed above, advertisements targeting young children will do more harm than good to their mind, body and relationship with their parents. To save them from all these misleading and harmful messages, it is time for us to take action and say no to those advertisements.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 58, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...society are bombarded by advertisements everyday. On the streets, in the subway and on t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 440, Rule ID: AS_FOLLOW[1]
Message: Did you mean 'as follows'?
Suggestion: as follows
...rcials should be banned for the reasons as follow. First, commercials on TV targeting ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 199, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...r young couples who usually do not have much savings and experience. They may work v...
^^^^
Line 5, column 244, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[4]
Message: The adverb 'often' is usually put after the verb 'be'.
Suggestion: be often
...language used is questionable. That can often be seen in toy commercials. That will cert...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, however, look, may, so, thus, no doubt, as a result, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 15.1003584229 159% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 9.8082437276 153% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 13.8261648746 166% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 62.0 43.0788530466 144% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 40.0 52.1666666667 77% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2202.0 1977.66487455 111% => OK
No of words: 458.0 407.700716846 112% => OK
Chars per words: 4.80786026201 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62611441266 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68115869801 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 240.0 212.727598566 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.524017467249 0.524837075471 100% => OK
syllable_count: 652.5 618.680645161 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 20.6003584229 146% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.6754335295 48.9658058833 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 73.4 100.406767564 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.2666666667 20.6045352989 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.53333333333 5.45110844103 46% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 3.85842293907 337% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.88709677419 246% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.1415810451 0.236089414692 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0336170840532 0.076458572812 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0539891557226 0.0737576698707 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105624027991 0.150856017488 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0646978614549 0.0645574589148 100% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.9 11.7677419355 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 58.1214874552 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.03 10.9000537634 92% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.