Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by Soheyl on Fri, 08/02/2019 - 14:14

It is very important that parents choose what products their childeren should or should not use themselves, because they care about the health and growth of their children more than anyone else. So I believe that advertising directly towards children at very young age, should be banned. I feel this way for the following reasons:
First, some TV commercials would intrigue kids to force their parents to purchase those advertised items for them, while their parents would not approve of those products. they are doubtfull about whether it would be suitable for them or not, but beacuse of the child's persistance, finally they would eventually buy those inappropiate items. For example, my 5 years old cousine saw a commercial about a electrical car toy, and he begged his parents for months to buy him that car. His parents knew that it might be a hazardous toy for a 5 year old boy, but they couldnt bear the constant nagging and finally, they gave up and spent a fortune on that toy car and gave it to him as his birthday present. After few days, he fell off the car and seriously injured himself. So this experiance taught me that how badly these advertising can effect young children and the owfull subsequences they can bring to the families.
Second, children tend to like whatever we represent to them, but they get so bored after playing them for a while.so parents can choose toys that not only entertain their child for a long time, but also can be educational for them. For example, we bought an educational package for my little brother that would teach him the names of animals and trees, building and so many other things throgh colorfull images. This package contained a lot of inventional games that would entertain him, as well as teaching him new things and improving his intellegence. However, we always see commercials about packages simillar to the one we bought but with such a lower quality and watching them on tv might have made him to stick to the worse version and not to want to play with the better one.
In conclusion, whether the commercials on tv provide good and appropriate products for chlidren or not, it is much better for kids that their parents select the toys for them. Attracting kids to some specific items through TV advertising might result in some bad expreinces.

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Average: 7.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 173, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...ts would not approve of those products. they are doubtfull about whether it would be...
^^^^
Line 2, column 402, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ears old cousine saw a commercial about a electrical car toy, and he begged his p...
^
Line 2, column 563, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...dous toy for a 5 year old boy, but they couldnt bear the constant nagging and finally, ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 155, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...so parents can choose toys that not only entertain their child for a long time, b...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, second, so, well, while, for example, i feel, in conclusion, as well as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 15.1003584229 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 65.0 43.0788530466 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 36.0 52.1666666667 69% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 8.0752688172 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1914.0 1977.66487455 97% => OK
No of words: 401.0 407.700716846 98% => OK
Chars per words: 4.77306733167 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47492842339 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.5407200481 2.67179642975 95% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.536159600998 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 564.3 618.680645161 91% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 9.59856630824 115% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.86738351254 268% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 20.6003584229 68% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 20.1344086022 139% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 50.93478223 48.9658058833 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 136.714285714 100.406767564 136% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.6428571429 20.6045352989 139% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.92857142857 5.45110844103 145% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 11.8709677419 25% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0928283595683 0.236089414692 39% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0446144296981 0.076458572812 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0719707708137 0.0737576698707 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0786246778247 0.150856017488 52% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0786472957379 0.0645574589148 122% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 11.7677419355 131% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.98 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.8 10.1575268817 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.98 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.9 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 10.0537634409 131% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.