Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Celebrities play a crucial role in society. They can affect our lifestyle significantly since many people follow and imitate them. Some people believe that the attitudes of celebrities are more important to younger people than they are to older individuals. In my view, they influence younger people more than older people for two important reasons.
The first reason is that youths are impressed by others easily. To be specific, as people get older, their characters complete and never change after a certain age. So, they care less about anybody's opinions, including celebrities. For example, I care about other's opinion who are around me, and I think about their viewpoints about everything; Sometimes, I alter my opinion after a discussion because I notice that opposite view is more rational. On the other hand, my father, who is 65 years old, never changes his decisions even if he knows that he is wrong. As a result, other opinions are not important to him. As you can imagine, such a strict person never cares about the opinions of famous people as well. As you can see, younger people are more perceptive about celebrities' attitudes.
Second, young people know celebrities more than older people do. Thanks to the Internet, people have a strong connection with their communities. Since young people use the Internet more, they have more information about famous individuals than old age people do. For instance, I spend most of my leisure time in the social application, especially in Instagram. I always see pictures, videos, and news about athletes and entertainers; So, I get a lot of information about them in this way. In contrast, my father does not follow celebrities because he does not use Instagram. Though this example may be very specific, this indicates that young people care about famous people more than older people do
In sum, celebrities' opinions are more important to youngsters than they are to older people. Not only, are youths impressed more, but they also know about celebrities more than older people do.
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- TPO-20 - Integrated Writing Task 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 715, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... the opinions of famous people as well. As you can see, younger people are more pe...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, second, so, well, for example, for instance, i think, in contrast, as a result, in my view, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 13.8261648746 43% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.0752688172 74% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1715.0 1977.66487455 87% => OK
No of words: 338.0 407.700716846 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07396449704 4.8611393121 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.28774723029 4.48103885553 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67723363132 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 549.9 618.680645161 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.936510768 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 85.75 100.406767564 85% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.9 20.6045352989 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.8 5.45110844103 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.318933888072 0.236089414692 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.111607355979 0.076458572812 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.095385991129 0.0737576698707 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.231665177894 0.150856017488 154% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0512787760381 0.0645574589148 79% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.83 10.9000537634 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 86.8835125448 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 10.002688172 60% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.