Speaking of any multi-million-dollar businesses, their analysists have to face the problem of what is the most reasonable, profitable and sustainable way for a business to spend their budget. Financial analysists of a university, academically as it sounds, is not an exception. Some of them believes that it is the best strategy to invest most of the budget into academic development, such as renovating a library. While having a brand-new library delights hard-working students, I deem that supporting sports activities is equally important.
Staying mentally healthy is unarguably one of the most crucial factors in students’ life. A good university aims to create an environment that enables their students to live a wonderful life, because without it, they could hardly motivate themselves to do anything beyond staying in bed hopelessly. Sports, on the other hand, fuel the students with energy, social interactions and passion by simply encouraging them to go outside, experience the world and make new friends, all of which are indispensable social skills needed in the real world. Imagine that a university insists to weigh academic development more than recreational activities, they would have a hard time removing students’ pressure of heavy homework, let alone creating opportunities for them to enjoy their life.
Is it worth noting that a university, like other businesses, values its main function, teaching, as much as increasing its revenue. In other words, it’s employees in charge of project investment should also prioritize generating income in order to ensure that the school continues to exist for hundreds of years. Granted, focusing on academic facilities such as a library maximize students’ potential in academic achievements; it is nevertheless a huge investment that the university could take years to break even. However, supporting sport activities is a completely different story: despite the fact that it costs a lot more money to build sports facilities than a library, it pays back the cost quickly due to a unique characteristic: the visibility of sports themselves. For instance, two notable universities, UCLA and USC have been hosting football games for more than 50 years. The game between them has been so popular that in the past several years, even their students could not easily get a ticket, which was sold for more than 100 dollars. Assuming that the football playground is able to host up to 10,000 people, that’s an easy 1 million dollars revenue, which merely considers those VIP seats, costing up to a grand each. Comparatively, building a library costs as much as the revenue from only one game.
In conclusion, it is wise for a university with the mindset of giving their students a bright life to balance the focus between academic development and sports activities. Moreover, the university needs generate enough income by supporting sports activates to sustain its business.
- TPO-32 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Young people today have no influence on the important decisions that determine the future of society as a whole.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answe 71
- T P O 53 Integrated Writing Tasks 74
- TPO-42 - Independent Writing Task Workers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 85
- TPO-49 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The ability to maintain friendships with a small number of people over a long period of time is more important for happiness than the ability to make many new friends 70
- TPO-32 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Young people today have no influence on the important decisions that determine the future of society as a whole.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answe 71
Essay evaluation report
focusing on academic facilities such as a library maximize students’ potential in academic achievements
focusing on academic facilities such as a library maximizes students’ potential in academic achievements
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flaws:
the second reason is little bit away of the topic:
'it costs a lot more money to build sports facilities than a library, it pays back the cost quickly'
but the topic is actually about :
whether Universities should give the same amount of money to their students’ sports activities as they give to university libraries.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 24 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 465 350
No. of Characters: 2406 1500
No. of Different Words: 259 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.644 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.174 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.95 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 183 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 145 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 104 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.921 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.304 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.492 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, moreover, nevertheless, so, while, for instance, in conclusion, speaking of, such as, in other words, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 13.8261648746 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 43.0788530466 86% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 8.0752688172 136% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2502.0 1977.66487455 127% => OK
No of words: 465.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 5.38064516129 4.8611393121 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64369019777 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.13970835081 2.67179642975 118% => OK
Unique words: 275.0 212.727598566 129% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.591397849462 0.524837075471 113% => OK
syllable_count: 781.2 618.680645161 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 20.6003584229 87% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.9185985722 48.9658058833 112% => OK
Chars per sentence: 139.0 100.406767564 138% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.8333333333 20.6045352989 125% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.66666666667 5.45110844103 141% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.173009186813 0.236089414692 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0508420669737 0.076458572812 66% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0529953320409 0.0737576698707 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119082974676 0.150856017488 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.070442115213 0.0645574589148 109% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 11.7677419355 143% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 37.64 58.1214874552 65% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 6.10430107527 183% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 10.1575268817 140% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.22 10.9000537634 130% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.12 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 125.0 86.8835125448 144% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 80.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.