The extended family is less important now than it was in the past

Essay topics:

The extended family is less important now than it was in the past.

Some people might think that it is still important to have a large group of family members including grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles like it was in the past. On the other hand, I strongly believe that it is not important anymore to extend the family. This is because of the reason that having a big family is hard in the financial aspect and doesn't suit best for trend of this era.

First of all, when it comes to money, it may unfeasible to have extended family. Generally, people are not so well off because the current society has met a lot of economic crisis. In addition to this, the average quality of life has increased because people started to purchase high-end brand products, consume organic foods and live in luxurious houses. Consequently, people spends much more money than the past so that they cannot deal with the total cost of living which occurs from big amount of family members. For example, according to the research conducted by United States Census Bureau, Americans spent only $900 per person a month. However, as the average market prices and house prices increased, now they spend $1600 per person a month. As the research shows, having a large family group is unfeasible in the financial aspect.

Moreover, the mainstream idea of individuals has changed. In the past, the era of groupism, people had tendency to have a large group of family members and live under the same roof. On the contrast, now, it is the era of individualism. Individuals have more tendency to live alone or have a small group of family with only their partner and kids. To illustrate, the New York Times announced that the rate of nuclear family has dramatically increased than the past. The percentage of nuclear family was only 25% in 1950s, while it is now 67%. According to the interview of professor Jang, in Seoul National Univ on the journal, this phenomenon is attributed to the individualism which is dominant in this era.

In summation, having extended family isn't feasible due to the financial problem and doesn't suit well for the mainstream idea of this era. Hence, the thought to have a big family should be reconsidered.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Some people might think that it is still...
^^
Line 1, column 353, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ily is hard in the financial aspect and doesnt suit best for trend of this era. ...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...nt suit best for trend of this era. First of all, when it comes to money, it...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... unfeasible in the financial aspect. Moreover, the mainstream idea of individ...
^^
Line 5, column 514, Rule ID: IN_1990s[1]
Message: The article is probably missing here: 'in the 1950s'.
Suggestion: in the 1950s
...rcentage of nuclear family was only 25% in 1950s, while it is now 67%. According to the ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 39, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
... In summation, having extended family isnt feasible due to the financial problem a...
^^^^
Line 7, column 86, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...asible due to the financial problem and doesnt suit well for the mainstream idea of th...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, hence, however, if, may, moreover, so, still, well, while, for example, in addition, first of all, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 4.0 9.8082437276 41% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 43.0788530466 51% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1782.0 1977.66487455 90% => OK
No of words: 370.0 407.700716846 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.81621621622 4.8611393121 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38581623665 4.48103885553 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.58259613098 2.67179642975 97% => OK
Unique words: 191.0 212.727598566 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.516216216216 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 557.1 618.680645161 90% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.6352841441 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.7894736842 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4736842105 20.6045352989 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.47368421053 5.45110844103 137% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.88709677419 184% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.261658516487 0.236089414692 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0780751640763 0.076458572812 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0666078310602 0.0737576698707 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.162591287739 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0519533173465 0.0645574589148 80% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.91 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 78.0 86.8835125448 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 66.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 20.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.