In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay

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In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay

It is an amazing fact that diseases that killed millions of people ten years ago, today they are extinct or under control. Many of those diseases only required a little amount of treatment in order to be cured, but people in the past didn't have the knowledge to recognize it. I consider that there have been many factors that have influenced this development, nevertheless, the main has being ‘’People access to education’’. In the next paragraphs, I will develop my reasons for this argument.

To begin with, years ago people didn't pay attention to education, instead they worried for their working activities. As a matter of fact, the education provides people with the knowledge necessaries to attain the development of the society. Therefore, our society has decided to choose the education as their main activity. Due to this plight, the number of scientists has risen and this has opened the new doors to carry on research in different fields. One of those fields is the medicine, where scientists have discovered the cure for many diseases. Those achievements have resulted in the reduction of mortality around the world and the rise in life expectancy. As you can see, if people wouldn't have chosen the education as their main activity, this improvement would not have being achieved.

Also, nowadays people have more access to food than they had ten years ago. As we should know, the food is one of the principal sources that helps prevent diseases. Today more crops are harvested, thus, people can buy it less expensive. For instance, years ago in the United States many children passed away due to diseases caused by the lack of vitamins. In fact, this was the principal cause of death in infants of 1 to 5 years, nevertheless this has changed because food sources have increased. Now, this is no longer a problem.

Notwithstanding, I acknowledge that there are some countries such as Africa and Haiti that still are struggling with diseases such as cholera and AIDS, but the rest of the world has overcome this problem.

For the reasons stated above, I consider that education and food availability have being the most conspicuous factors that have helped with the improvement in people's lives because new treatments to cure diseases have being discovered and the food is cheaper than years ago.

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diseases that killed millions of people ten years ago, today they are extinct or under control.
diseases that killed millions of people ten years ago are extinct or under control today .

People access to education
People's access to education

sources that helps prevent diseases.
sources that help prevent diseases.

Today more crops are harvested, thus, people can buy it less expensive.
Description: 'it' refers to what?

education and food availability have being the most conspicuous factors
education and food availability have been the most conspicuous factors

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 391 350
No. of Characters: 1870 1500
No. of Different Words: 198 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.447 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.783 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.571 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.722 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.837 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.529 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5