In general people are living longer now Which of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon

Essay topics:

In general, people are living longer now. Which of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon?

All of the above mentioned parameters are liable for increasing the lifespan of humans. However, I find the improvements in the techonological sector to be the most compelling reason for enhancing our lifespan. I subscribe to my opinion based on the resons elucidated in the below paragraphs.
Firstly, with the advent of technologies in medical field, we are able to diagnose the diseases at early stage. This provides us with the additional buffer time to treat the diseases and thereby increase the chances of patient's survival. For example, about 20 back, many diabetic patients used to loose their eyesights because it was very difficult to manually determine the defects in iris. However, with the emergence of advance eye scanners and machine learning algorithms it is now possible to determine the defects in iris or in retina. This early diagnosis buys extra time for the patient and enables us to treat the patient in much more efficient manner and prevent him / her from getting blind. Earlier such things were almost inexorable and therefore patient to suffer more. Thus, I posit that technological enhancements have played the most vital role in increasing our lifespan.
Secondly, the major imrovements in the technological sector has made our communication seamless and efficient. Therefore, it possible to seek expert's advise from the erudites located across the globe. My dad's heart transplant surgery is the perfect example to explain my point. He had a major car accident and had severely damaged his heart. Doctors recommended heart transplant surgery. Intially I was very hesitant to opt for this surgery. However, after consulting with some of the world's renowned doctors, I was assured that this surgery is now quite safe. Based on their opinion, I mustered the courage and gave the doctors green signal to proceed with heart transplant surgery. As a result, doctors were succesfully to transplant heart and my is alive today leading a healthy lifestyle. without technology I wouldn't have been able to take such a risky decision and therefore I feel that technological improvements have contributed the most in enhancing the lifespans.
Lastly, technological improvements have made surgical operations more safer. For example, earlier doctors used to perform cataract surgery manully. This was quite risky as single mistake made by the doctor would cost patient's eyesight. But now these manual operations are replaced by automatic laser operations. This operations are much more safer and quick as compared to manual surgeries. Thus, I would like to bolester technological improvements as the major reason behind increasing human's lifespan.
Since, the technological improvements had resulted in better diagnosis, efficient communication and safer sugeries possible, I contend that technological improvents have played the most vital role in increasing our lifespan.

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Average: 0.3 (1 vote)
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Essays by user Dharmik94 :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: All the
All of the above mentioned parameters are liable f...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 297, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...20 back, many diabetic patients used to loose their eyesights because it was very dif...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 473, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...surgery. However, after consulting with some of the worlds renowned doctors, I was assured ...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 793, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Without
...live today leading a healthy lifestyle. without technology I wouldnt have been able to ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 814, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...healthy lifestyle. without technology I wouldnt have been able to take such a risky dec...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 66, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'safer' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: safer
...rovements have made surgical operations more safer. For example, earlier doctors used to p...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 312, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
...replaced by automatic laser operations. This operations are much more safer and quic...
^^^^
Line 4, column 337, Rule ID: MOST_COMPARATIVE[2]
Message: Use only 'safer' (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
Suggestion: safer
...er operations. This operations are much more safer and quick as compared to manual surgeri...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 487, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'humans'' or 'human's'?
Suggestion: humans'; human's
...s as the major reason behind increasing humans lifespan. Since, the technological imp...
^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, therefore, thus, for example, i feel, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 13.8261648746 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 11.0286738351 36% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 41.0 43.0788530466 95% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 52.1666666667 107% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2442.0 1977.66487455 123% => OK
No of words: 451.0 407.700716846 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.41463414634 4.8611393121 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.95205706707 2.67179642975 110% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527716186253 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 782.1 618.680645161 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 20.6003584229 131% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.9094654449 48.9658058833 82% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.4444444444 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.7037037037 20.6045352989 81% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.18518518519 5.45110844103 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.5376344086 163% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 11.8709677419 126% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0754562374161 0.236089414692 32% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.022809378715 0.076458572812 30% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0287420827276 0.0737576698707 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0426842002996 0.150856017488 28% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0225792965244 0.0645574589148 35% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 58.1214874552 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.8 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.91 8.01818996416 111% => OK
difficult_words: 128.0 86.8835125448 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.

Rates: 3.33333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.