If you could change one thing about your job what would you change Use reasons and specific examples to support your response

Essay topics:

If you could change one thing about your job, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your response.

Working as a doctor, there are many things that bring me joy when I think about my job and the hospitals where I work, for example, helping patients improve their vision. However, there is one thing that I would like to change about it if I had the power to, which is the medical equipment provided by the hospitals.
The first reason why I would change medical equipment is that as years go by they tend to become obsolete as technology evolves. New and more modern equipment would allow doctors to better diagnose their patients, as a result, provide patients a more accurate course of treatment and avoid unnecessary procedures.
Another reason for the change I proposed is that new equipment can allow doctors to operate on their patients with great precision and yield better results and success. For example, nowadays, with the equipment the hospital provides I can only operate one or two kinds of surgeries, whereas with new and more modern equipment I would be able to perform more than one type of procedure with the same equipment.
A third and final reason for having new and more modern equipment is that by having new surgical instruments and more modern sterilizing equipment, for example, I would be able to lower the amount of time spent during surgeries. Consequently, that would improve patients' recovery and lower the risks of complications as they would spend less time in the operation room.
Finally, I believe that if I could change the medical equipment offered by the hospital where I work, my performance as a surgeon would increase immensely. In addition to that, my patients would be able to be better taken care of, spending less time in surgeries and receiving more precise diagnoses and treatment.

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Average: 6.5 (1 vote)
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, finally, first, however, if, so, third, whereas, for example, i think, in addition, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 15.1003584229 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 13.8261648746 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 11.0286738351 109% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 30.0 52.1666666667 58% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 15.0 8.0752688172 186% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1442.0 1977.66487455 73% => OK
No of words: 294.0 407.700716846 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90476190476 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14082457966 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.63356696331 2.67179642975 99% => OK
Unique words: 146.0 212.727598566 69% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.496598639456 0.524837075471 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 458.1 618.680645161 74% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.94265232975 40% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 20.6003584229 49% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 20.1344086022 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 34.7798792407 48.9658058833 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 144.2 100.406767564 144% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.4 20.6045352989 143% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.9 5.45110844103 200% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.5376344086 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 11.8709677419 51% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88709677419 20% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.142648058619 0.236089414692 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0734851279275 0.076458572812 96% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0494723593998 0.0737576698707 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0929254822413 0.150856017488 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0378560079438 0.0645574589148 59% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.3 11.7677419355 139% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.04 58.1214874552 72% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.73 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.46 8.01818996416 106% => OK
difficult_words: 63.0 86.8835125448 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.002688172 130% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.0537634409 135% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

Rates: 65.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 19.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.