Imagine you need to improve your performance in order to get better grades or higher work payment which way would you choose？
1.doing more extra work or assignments that are required
2.participate more actively or contributing your own idea more frequently in the group discussion
In this society full of competitions, locating more appropriate ways to update the achievement in study or work challenges everyone. Some prefer to finish extra tasks in order to improve their performance. However, after weighing the pros and cons, I believe that, to get positively involved in groups is the better choice.
To begin with, an active participation in the discussion is more likely to motivate a student or an employee. Presenting one’s ideas in front of a group of people, which requires various skills and sufficient preparation, is comparatively more and challenging than doing an assignment alone. More aspects need to be considered during the preparation, like how to convey the ideas vividly to intrigue everyone and how to respond to different opinions. One has to challenge himself or herself all the time in order to get the flawless plan. Also, being part of a group makes it almost impossible to procrastinate, as there are more responsibilities and pressure at the same time. As a result, one is more likely to invest a lot of time and energy in a group presentation. For instance, my classmate Zoe was an average student, who got passing scores in exams and almost never actively expressed herself during the class. She spent most of her time hanging out with friends or working on her hobbies. Ten years ago, she followed her parents to the US, where she encountered a completely different way of learning. At first she found it quite hard to accept. She told me about all the class discussions, which was a torture for her every time. After getting very low scores for some courses, she realized she had to make some differences. She started to spend hours preparing her presentations and the results were quite rewarding. As time went by, not only did her GPA get better, She got improved in communicating with others and got motivated in every dimension. That transformed her completely. Zoe received an offer from Columbia University and became a successful psychology professional.
In addition, confidence, which is essential to get better scores or salaries, is more likely to be built during every positive group contribution. Tough the preparation process is challenging, the result can be quite enlightening and enjoyable. The more difficult the task is, the more sense of fulfillment it can bring afterwards. A confident person is more optimistic towards everything, and so stands more chance to find the appropriate solution and achieve the goal. What’s more, confident ones are more charismatic, who get more attention and thus get more opportunities. My two colleagues Will and Mark were classmates from UCLA. They entered the company at almost the same time, serving both in the market department. Will is the quiet type, who always works silently on his projects, while Mark is more willing to express his ideas during discussions. Will becomes more introverted and reserved with his own ideas. Though he is very good at this work, he seems invisible and insignificant. Mark, however, gets more confident and positive every day. He obviously gets more good ideas all the time and our boss always turns to him when there is a tough job. Finally Mark got promoted as the manager and received a higher payment.
Admittedly, finishing a task on your own is relatively easier to realize since not everyone is very comfortable to share his or her ideas in a group. Someone is too shy to speak in the public. Someone does not know how to express his or her ideas. However, we should not set limits for ourselves. The capacities of an individual can be promoted greatly when pushed to the extreme. When confronted with problems or dangers, we can always surprise ourselves by what we can achieve. In conclusion, to make a positive contribution in a group, which is more challenging, seems a more beneficial way for students or employees to improve their performance.
To sum up, I strongly support that actively participating in a group discussion carries more merits than doing extra work. For one thing, it provides more motivation in general. For another, it is conducive to the development of confidence.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...volved in groups is the better choice. To begin with, an active participation i...
^^^
Line 3, column 1697, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e a successful psychology professional. In addition, confidence, which is essent...
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Line 5, column 871, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'Will' requires the base form of the verb: 'become'
Suggestion: become
...ress his ideas during discussions. Will becomes more introverted and reserved with his ...
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Line 5, column 1170, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Finally,
...turns to him when there is a tough job. Finally Mark got promoted as the manager and re...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...manager and received a higher payment. Admittedly, finishing a task on your own...
^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...mployees to improve their performance. To sum up, I strongly support that activ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, so, thus, while, as to, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in general, as a result, for one thing, to begin with, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 15.1003584229 192% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 29.0 13.8261648746 210% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 88.0 52.1666666667 169% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 8.0752688172 260% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3490.0 1977.66487455 176% => OK
No of words: 696.0 407.700716846 171% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.01436781609 4.8611393121 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.13632280105 4.48103885553 115% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96674771763 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 360.0 212.727598566 169% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.51724137931 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 1109.7 618.680645161 179% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 18.0 9.59856630824 188% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.51792114695 227% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 11.0 4.94265232975 223% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 42.0 20.6003584229 204% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.7421208608 48.9658058833 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.0952380952 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.5714285714 20.6045352989 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.04761904762 5.45110844103 74% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 26.0 11.8709677419 219% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 3.85842293907 207% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.88709677419 164% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.306657796453 0.236089414692 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0658455438468 0.076458572812 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0658817484309 0.0737576698707 89% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178122423026 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0532267996592 0.0645574589148 82% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.48 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 175.0 86.8835125448 201% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.