Leaders like John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King have made important contributions to the people of the United States. Name another world leader you think is important. Give reasons and specific examples for your choice.
Another important leader who needs to take place between John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King is Mustafa Kemal Ataturk. Mustafa Kemal was a Turkish field marshal, revolutionary statesman and founder of Modern Turkey. He was the first president from 1923 until his death in 1938.
Mustafa Kemal came to prominence for his role in securing the Ottoman Turkish victory at the Battle of Gallipoli during World War one. After the World War one finished he started to abolish Ottoman Empire, at the same time he started to proclaim the foundation of the Turkish Republic. At 29 October 1923 Turkey was declared as a Republic. After the declaration of the Turkish Republic was held a first presidential election and Mustafa Kemal was selected to be President.
As the President of the newly formed Turkish Republic, he made rigorous political, cultural and economic reforms. He thought that modernization and Westernization are important for the country to develop. He did this with studying Western law and policy and then adapted their structure for the people of Turkey. He replaced the Arabic alphabet with Latin, introduced Gregorian calendar and urged people to dress in Western clothes. Furthermore, he separated religion from the politic, opened more new schools and introduced free education. Also, he made a lot of infrastructure changes as a railway network and opened state factories. The most important thing he did was giving equal civil and political rights to the women. Moreover, in 1934 he introduced surnames and then the Turkish Parliament gave him the Ataturk surname which means `Father of the Turks`.
In my opinion, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk needs to take place between John F. Kennedy and Marthin Luther King, because he changed the country from the roots, developed and contributed a lot of Turkish people. Moreover, he won a lot of battles and defended the country.
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- TOEFL TPO 05 - Integrated Writing Task 71
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Another important leader who needs to ta...
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Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ent from 1923 until his death in 1938. Mustafa Kemal came to prominence for his...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fa Kemal was selected to be President. As the President of the newly formed Tur...
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Line 3, column 323, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...eir structure for the people of Turkey. He replaced the Arabic alphabet with Latin...
^^
Line 3, column 682, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'give'
Suggestion: give
...es. The most important thing he did was giving equal civil and political rights to the...
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Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...means 'Father of the Turks'. In my opinion, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk nee...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, furthermore, moreover, so, then, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 9.8082437276 0% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 43.0788530466 46% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 52.1666666667 73% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1590.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 307.0 407.700716846 75% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.17915309446 4.8611393121 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18585898806 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75797874407 2.67179642975 103% => OK
Unique words: 170.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.553745928339 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 501.3 618.680645161 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 9.59856630824 83% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.7645873334 48.9658058833 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 83.6842105263 100.406767564 83% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.1578947368 20.6045352989 78% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.36842105263 5.45110844103 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.115524185581 0.236089414692 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0429931274947 0.076458572812 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0542711988288 0.0737576698707 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0807163955097 0.150856017488 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0430601722388 0.0645574589148 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.0 11.7677419355 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 58.1214874552 95% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 10.9000537634 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.16 8.01818996416 114% => OK
difficult_words: 92.0 86.8835125448 106% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.