Nowadays, children rely too much on technology, like computers, smartphones, video games for fun and entertainment; playing simpler toys or playing outside with friends would be better for the children's development. What do you think?
Nowadays, with the successive growth of various technologies, it is a heating debate about whether they are beneficial for people’s lives or not. While some people believe that children should play outside with their friends, and use conventional toys to entertain themselves, others believe that depending on technology-related materials is not always a harmful way of enjoying for children. I, personally, agree with the latter group, and I have two reasons, on which I will elaborate in the following essay.
First, having fun and spending time with high-tech devices, children can secure one of their main needs for progress in their future life, which is being familiar with up-to-date technology. It goes without saying that almost all main industries in today's world are strongly associated with modern devices, like mobile phones and laptops, and people who know how to effectively use them have a better chance to get better jobs in future. So, the sooner people become adept at working with these technology-related tools, the more convenient way they have in future for being successful. For example, when I was 12 years old, my mother bought me a laptop, and as I used it for playing games, I also learned some of the basics of how it works. Later, when I was 17, I could easily learn how to do programming with it in my school because I had previous knowledge about it. Therefore, between a lot of rivals, I was chosen for working in a company as an intern, and make money for myself although I was only 18.
Second, using modern technology as entertainment, children will become more creative. To be more specific, a lot of these video games take place in completely unreal worlds, and mostly include imaginary events. As a result, the intellectual part of children's brains will be activated, making them more creative people that can help them develop their career in the future more conveniently. For instance, I, myself, play a lot of these games, so I can easily contrive new ideas in different work situations. Actually, I used one of these games that I had played before as an inspiration for one of my work projects, and my boss became so excited about the idea that offered me a raise. As a result, this example shows how playing with technology-related devices in your childhood can help you through your progress in life.
Ultimately, I think playing with devices that are closely related to technology is more contributing to children's development in life, because in this way, not only they would be familiar with the up-to-date technology that is a requirement to being a part of the industry in future, but they also will become more creative, making it easier for them to get advanced in their life.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2022-11-19 | Newporteghale | 76 | view |
| 2022-07-11 | shuya | 80 | view |
| 2022-07-11 | shuya | 80 | view |
| 2021-08-05 | mahi22 | 90 | view |
| 2021-06-04 | m.ramezanii1987@gmail.com | 73 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 428, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...have a better chance to get better jobs in future. So, the sooner people become adept at ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 707, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...ed it for playing games, I also learned some of the basics of how it works. Later, when I w...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 274, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...irement to being a part of the industry in future, but they also will become more creativ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, second, so, therefore, while, for example, for instance, i think, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.0286738351 118% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 43.0788530466 137% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 64.0 52.1666666667 123% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2278.0 1977.66487455 115% => OK
No of words: 464.0 407.700716846 114% => OK
Chars per words: 4.90948275862 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64119157421 4.48103885553 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8652350581 2.67179642975 107% => OK
Unique words: 242.0 212.727598566 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.521551724138 0.524837075471 99% => OK
syllable_count: 716.4 618.680645161 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.86738351254 428% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 29.0 20.1344086022 144% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 69.3163039984 48.9658058833 142% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.375 100.406767564 142% => OK
Words per sentence: 29.0 20.6045352989 141% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.8125 5.45110844103 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 11.8709677419 118% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.306133739743 0.236089414692 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0976274801438 0.076458572812 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0545938407489 0.0737576698707 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.199499173989 0.150856017488 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.00946989618528 0.0645574589148 15% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 11.7677419355 138% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.5 58.1214874552 87% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 10.1575268817 132% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.79 10.9000537634 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.65 8.01818996416 108% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 86.8835125448 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.6 10.0537634409 135% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.247311828 137% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.