Parents offer money for their school-age children for each high grade

Essay topics:

Parents offer money for their school-age children for each high grade

Currently, society has witnessed an unprecedented accumulation of material affluence, thus there is an increasing number of parents attaching more importance to their children's upbringing. Some of them give their children money as rewards for children's good academic performance in exams, while others contend that this behavior is detrimental to children's growth. Personally speaking, I concur with those parents' rewarding behaviors and my view can be substantiated as follows.
To start with, the money is and has always been an optimal motivator for students without stable income. Owing to children's instincts of desires for money, all children are yearning for earning money rewards, therefore they are prompted to spare no efforts to improve their academic performance, for instance, they are likely to do extra school assignments, asking their teachers for more profound knowledge to eradicate the puzzles or they probably enroll in some cram schools for further improvement of studies. Therefore, through all these endeavors, they come to realize that learning is meaningful, it is not only rewarding for money but also contributes to their future development, thus a virtuous circle is erected exerting long-lasting effects on children's academic performance. The research conducted to evaluate children's willingness of learning demonstrates that 88% student, promised by their parents to give money reward for their high grades, have made progress in their tests. Some of them even attain significant achievements in their studies. For instance, Rebecca, one of those testers, who always got passing scores in the elementary chemistry, improves her mediocre performance in this curriculums gradually. Each time she wanted to give up, she was reminded of the rewards her parents promise to render, thus her enthusiasm was evoked by the rewards and she endeavored to tackle with all perplexing problems confronted with her. This example illuminates that money, as a kind of optimal motivators, constitutes a stepping stone in students' enhancement of their academic attainment.
What's more, additionally, giving children money as prizes is conducive to their growth. Nowadays, with the implementation of the one-child policy, a myriad of children have been spoiled, which makes them unaware of the efforts they have to pay for earning a living. Some of them even splurge money on diversified needless affairs, like purchasing state-of-the-art electronic devices, recharging game currencies to kill monsters or upgrading their armors. With this kind of monetary rewards, they are entitled to explore their parents whole-hearted devote to the family and realize that the money they spend is supposed to be cherished. Meanwhile, since they are introduced to money at a tender age, they are rendered with an optimal method to mastering the money-management skills. Not only can they know that the money comes at a price of endeavors but also can they amass some information about money management, like depositing money in the bank for interests, investing them in products which can be utilized for years. Hence, money rewards can also contribute to children's growth in other domains, not just in the academic field.
Admittedly, making the use of children's desires for money is not without flaws. Driven by the desires, it is self-evident that they are inclined to become altruistic, nevertheless, this propensity can be suppressed by imposing appropriate parental control.
In a nutshell, from what has been mentioned above, it is a favored approach for parents to give their school-age children money as rewards for their eminent academic performance. For one thing, they, driven by money, can enhance their performance. For another, they are not only reminded of their parents' devote to their families but also entitled to grasp a bunch of money management skills.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1202, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...y, improves her mediocre performance in this curriculums gradually. Each time she wa...
^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...ancement of their academic attainment. Whats more, additionally, giving children mon...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, hence, if, nevertheless, so, therefore, thus, while, for instance, kind of, for one thing, to start with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 15.1003584229 185% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 13.8261648746 65% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 11.0286738351 91% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 87.0 52.1666666667 167% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 8.0752688172 260% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3277.0 1977.66487455 166% => OK
No of words: 599.0 407.700716846 147% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.47078464107 4.8611393121 113% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.94716853372 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98484330417 2.67179642975 112% => OK
Unique words: 301.0 212.727598566 141% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.502504173623 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 1014.3 618.680645161 164% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 73.9286684252 48.9658058833 151% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.47826087 100.406767564 142% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0434782609 20.6045352989 126% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.44478543111 0.236089414692 188% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.14746743452 0.076458572812 193% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.103933943513 0.0737576698707 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.286893063958 0.150856017488 190% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.106413040851 0.0645574589148 165% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.4 11.7677419355 148% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 58.1214874552 63% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 10.1575268817 144% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.74 10.9000537634 135% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.7 8.01818996416 121% => OK
difficult_words: 181.0 86.8835125448 208% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 10.247311828 146% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.