parents should give money to the children when they bring good grades
Nowadays it is very difficult to determine which way suits best to keep motivated every individuals. Personally I believe that offering cash for bringing good grade in the examination is a great idea. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, in this turbulent society there are many technological advancement which causes distraction in the early stage of a children. Maintaining attention in their study is really an arduous task for them as they are tempt to play video games, watching cartoon in the television and so on. In this case it is very necessary to keep them motivated by giving extra money so that they feel they are being praised. In childhood, babies have a lot of fascination to buy different things. My personal example is a compelling illustration of this. For example, after doing good result my father used to give me some additional money to spend which makes me very happy. I used to buy gifts for my friends with these money and this drives keep me motivated always to make good result in every exams. From this example we can see that, If my father had not give me the additional money after bringing good grades in the exam I would not be motivated enough to keep the consistency.
Secondly, good result is possible in case if any students work very hard. Students have to obey teachers advice and they have to be attentive in the classroom. They will acquire a detailed knowledge in every textbooks if they do so to get good marks. Therefore, there is no harm to keep them motivated by giving some monetary rewards so that they can fulfill their desire accordingly and keep up the good work.
In summation, in this modern society its not a easy task to keep the children in a right tract. Consequently giving them some additional money to keep them motivated is not wrong.
- Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? 84
- TOEFL integrated writing: Dutch painter Rambrandt 3
- parents should give money to the children when they bring good grades 60
- The increasingly rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and suppor 57
- Company management should conduct routine monitoring of all employee e-mail correspondence. Such monitoring will reduce the waste of resources such as time and system capacity, as well as protect the company from lawsuits.Write a response in which you di 65
Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 52, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun advancement seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much technological advancement', 'a good deal of technological advancement'.
Suggestion: much technological advancement; a good deal of technological advancement
...th, in this turbulent society there are many technological advancement which causes distraction in the early s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 130, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a child' or simply 'children'?
Suggestion: a child; children
...auses distraction in the early stage of a children. Maintaining attention in their study i...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 226, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'tempted'.
Suggestion: tempted
...ly an arduous task for them as they are tempt to play video games, watching cartoon i...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 711, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...I used to buy gifts for my friends with these money and this drives keep me motivated alway...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 747, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'motivated'.
Suggestion: always motivated
...ith these money and this drives keep me motivated always to make good result in every exams. Fro...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 856, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'given'.
Suggestion: given
...e we can see that, If my father had not give me the additional money after bringing ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 179, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[4]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'detailed knowledge'.
Suggestion: detailed knowledge
...ive in the classroom. They will acquire a detailed knowledge in every textbooks if they do so to get...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 38, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
... In summation, in this modern society its not a easy task to keep the children in...
^^^
Line 7, column 46, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...mmation, in this modern society its not a easy task to keep the children in a rig...
^
Line 7, column 97, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Consequently,
... to keep the children in a right tract. Consequently giving them some additional money to ke...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, consequently, if, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, i feel, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1533.0 1977.66487455 78% => OK
No of words: 328.0 407.700716846 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.6737804878 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25567506705 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61784810828 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.515243902439 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 489.6 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.1373168451 48.9658058833 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.1764705882 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2941176471 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.23529411765 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.243804757399 0.236089414692 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0779404618701 0.076458572812 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0635145704685 0.0737576698707 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142120406512 0.150856017488 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0497381925479 0.0645574589148 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 52, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun advancement seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much technological advancement', 'a good deal of technological advancement'.
Suggestion: much technological advancement; a good deal of technological advancement
...th, in this turbulent society there are many technological advancement which causes distraction in the early s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 130, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a child' or simply 'children'?
Suggestion: a child; children
...auses distraction in the early stage of a children. Maintaining attention in their study i...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 226, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'tempted'.
Suggestion: tempted
...ly an arduous task for them as they are tempt to play video games, watching cartoon i...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 711, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this money' or 'these moneys', 'these monies'?
Suggestion: this money; these moneys; these monies
...I used to buy gifts for my friends with these money and this drives keep me motivated alway...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 747, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[9]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'motivated'.
Suggestion: always motivated
...ith these money and this drives keep me motivated always to make good result in every exams. Fro...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 856, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'given'.
Suggestion: given
...e we can see that, If my father had not give me the additional money after bringing ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 179, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[4]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'detailed knowledge'.
Suggestion: detailed knowledge
...ive in the classroom. They will acquire a detailed knowledge in every textbooks if they do so to get...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 38, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: it's; it is
... In summation, in this modern society its not a easy task to keep the children in...
^^^
Line 7, column 46, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...mmation, in this modern society its not a easy task to keep the children in a rig...
^
Line 7, column 97, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Consequently,
... to keep the children in a right tract. Consequently giving them some additional money to ke...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, consequently, if, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, i feel, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 15.1003584229 93% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 43.0 43.0788530466 100% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 52.1666666667 86% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1533.0 1977.66487455 78% => OK
No of words: 328.0 407.700716846 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.6737804878 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.25567506705 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61784810828 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 212.727598566 79% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.515243902439 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 489.6 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 9.59856630824 42% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 34.1373168451 48.9658058833 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.1764705882 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.2941176471 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.23529411765 5.45110844103 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.5376344086 181% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.243804757399 0.236089414692 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0779404618701 0.076458572812 102% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0635145704685 0.0737576698707 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142120406512 0.150856017488 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0497381925479 0.0645574589148 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 11.7677419355 87% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 58.1214874552 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 10.1575268817 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.81 10.9000537634 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.66 8.01818996416 96% => OK
difficult_words: 64.0 86.8835125448 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.