Time, undeniably is a crucial thing in humans life. A controversial argument that is often raised regarding this topic is that if people are spending too much time on their personal enjoyment or not. If I were obliged too choose, I would think that people are spending too much time on their personal enjoyment for several reasons, on a few of which I will elaborate subsequently.
To begin, I think people are wasting too much time on the internet. After first version of social medias were announced, alot of people started to using them. Today every adults and youngs have smart phones and internet connection, thus they spend alot of time in the social medias and other online services like Youtube or TikTok and this prevent them to do things they should do. You see, when your'e surfing social medias, you won't notice time passing and all of the sudden you'll find yourself spending hours in those social medias. I believe my opinion is partially influenced by my personal experience, I remember when I had a big exam coming, I was spending my rest times surfing social medias and there were many times that I missed the time that i suppose to start study again. As you can see, social medias have a huge roll in wasting time now-days.
Secondly, alot of people these days spend most of their time playing video games. Every year, many game developing companies launches their new games and lots of peolpe are playing them consistantly, there are even people who are addicted to these kinda games. Wasting time on playing games are not only for profassional players, even regular mobile users have time killing games on their phones that give them short enjoyable moments. For instance, I have a friend from elementary school, I remeber before computers and smart phones become popular, he and I were top graders at school, but after they bought their first computer, he started to play games and got addicted to them very soon, as you may assume, this influenced his grades instantly and he were not a top grader any more. So, computer games are another reason that make people to spend more time on personal enjoyment.
I resist the temptation to explain more, hoping there is enough information already. To sum it up, as the reasons suggest, I think people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, because not only they spend more time on the internet, but they play lots of video games as well.
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- TOEFL T P O 10 Integrated Writing Task 3
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 219, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to choose'?
Suggestion: to choose
...nal enjoyment or not. If I were obliged too choose, I would think that people are spending...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 397, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: you're
...do things they should do. You see, when youre surfing social medias, you wont notice ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 459, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE_SUDDEN[1]
Message: This phrase is nonstandard. Did you mean 'all of a sudden'?
Suggestion: all of a sudden
...edias, you wont notice time passing and all of the sudden youll find yourself spending hours in t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 477, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: you'll
...tice time passing and all of the sudden youll find yourself spending hours in those s...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 754, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... many times that I missed the time that i suppose to start study again. As you ca...
^
Line 6, column 216, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'peopled'.
Suggestion: peopled
...aying them consistantly, there are even people who are addicted to these kinda games. ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, thus, well, for instance, i suppose, i think
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2002.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 420.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76666666667 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37052000189 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.511904761905 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 633.6 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 78.2871317651 48.9658058833 160% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.125 100.406767564 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.25 20.6045352989 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.125 5.45110844103 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.305655148859 0.236089414692 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104526315315 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100871343813 0.0737576698707 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.193775677268 0.150856017488 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0679001079892 0.0645574589148 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 11.7677419355 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.35 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 219, Rule ID: TOO_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'to choose'?
Suggestion: to choose
...nal enjoyment or not. If I were obliged too choose, I would think that people are spending...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 397, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: you're
...do things they should do. You see, when youre surfing social medias, you wont notice ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 459, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE_SUDDEN[1]
Message: This phrase is nonstandard. Did you mean 'all of a sudden'?
Suggestion: all of a sudden
...edias, you wont notice time passing and all of the sudden youll find yourself spending hours in t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 477, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: you'll
...tice time passing and all of the sudden youll find yourself spending hours in those s...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 754, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... many times that I missed the time that i suppose to start study again. As you ca...
^
Line 6, column 216, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'peopled'.
Suggestion: peopled
...aying them consistantly, there are even people who are addicted to these kinda games. ...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, thus, well, for instance, i suppose, i think
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 9.8082437276 51% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 43.0788530466 132% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 41.0 52.1666666667 79% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2002.0 1977.66487455 101% => OK
No of words: 420.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.76666666667 4.8611393121 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52701905584 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37052000189 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.511904761905 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 633.6 618.680645161 102% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 14.0 9.59856630824 146% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.51792114695 199% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 26.0 20.1344086022 129% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 78.2871317651 48.9658058833 160% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.125 100.406767564 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.25 20.6045352989 127% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.125 5.45110844103 112% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 11.8709677419 76% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 3.85842293907 104% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.305655148859 0.236089414692 129% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.104526315315 0.076458572812 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100871343813 0.0737576698707 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.193775677268 0.150856017488 128% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0679001079892 0.0645574589148 105% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 11.7677419355 121% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 58.1214874552 92% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 10.1575268817 121% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.68 10.9000537634 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.35 8.01818996416 104% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 10.0537634409 123% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.