Many researchers have proved the benefits of having art or music lessons. Personally, I strongly believe learning art or music is beneficial. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will further explore in the following essay.
First of all, recent research conducted by one of the most famous research centers suggests that music stimulates the brain associated with academic performance. According to the research, students who have taken music lessons performed 15% better than those who have never taken music lessons. My cousin, Jason’s experience is a compelling example of this. When he was young, his parents insisted on taking music lessons. While in elementary schools, he outshines most of his classmates. He always ranked first in his school until high school years. He is currently accepted to the best university in my country and everyone admires his achievement. In my opinion, if it had not been for the music training he went through in his childhood, he wouldn’t have had this outstanding performance.
Secondly, learning music can enhance social skills. Since music is an art that should be performed with a group of people, students can learn teamwork and how to relate to others. Recent studies suggest that more and more companies require employees with strong social skills such as communicating and interacting with colleagues and client. For instance, many of my co-workers took music classes in elementary or high schools; they can easily apply the communication skills learned while playing musical instruments. For the past few years, I had a really hard time keeping up with most of my colleagues because I am an introverted person and I was not as eloquent as they were. In contrast, my colleges are able to apply all of the communicating techniques naturally, especially when negotiating with our customers. Usually, the whole process goes on smoothly and our customers are very satisfied with our products and services. This example demonstrates that music does play an important part in enhancing social skills.
Finally, music increases productivity and creativity. A recent research published by National Art and Music Research Center shows that art and music offer the basic elements we need for creativity. With the creativity developed by learning music and art, we can make create more innovative ideas and hence increase our productivity.
In conclusion, I believe that taking art or music classes are valuable. This is because art and music help students to achieve academic success and because they help young individuals to improve their communication skills tremendously.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
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Suggestion:
...urther explore in the following essay. First of all, recent research conducted ...
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Message: Simply use 'all the'.
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...contrast, my colleges are able to apply all of the communicating techniques naturally, esp...
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Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rtant part in enhancing social skills. Finally, music increases productivity an...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, hence, if, really, second, secondly, so, while, for instance, i feel, in conclusion, in contrast, such as, first of all, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 9.8082437276 71% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 44.0 52.1666666667 84% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 8.0752688172 99% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2233.0 1977.66487455 113% => OK
No of words: 419.0 407.700716846 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.32935560859 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52432199235 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92035762766 2.67179642975 109% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 212.727598566 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.54892601432 0.524837075471 105% => OK
syllable_count: 677.7 618.680645161 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.51630824373 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 20.1344086022 84% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.8033691079 48.9658058833 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.0416666667 100.406767564 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4583333333 20.6045352989 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.25 5.45110844103 115% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.5376344086 54% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.88709677419 143% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.233646778925 0.236089414692 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0738699643581 0.076458572812 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0748550670709 0.0737576698707 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.150912626512 0.150856017488 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.045596561744 0.0645574589148 71% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 58.1214874552 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.34 10.9000537634 122% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.81 8.01818996416 110% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 86.8835125448 132% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 10.002688172 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 10.0537634409 88% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 76.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 23.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.