Some famous athletes and entertainers earn millions of dollars every year. Do you think these people deserve such high salaries? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays, many people want to be millionaire as soon as possible, so the athlethes and entertainers seem to set up examples for them. As more and more celebrities in these fileds are becoming very rich,an idol could make millions of dollars from participitating a single adverstisement. While as for me, I suppose they do not deserve such high salaries. Because there are more bad effects than the good ones in this phenomenon.I will address my views as follows.

To begin with, It is abnormal that a celebrity in entertain field earn so much money, there is ond bad effect that it would misled lots of people to consider thiw would be a better way to live a good life, no matter old or young. Back to fifteen year ago, there was the first time that idol show on TV viewed by people, then it opened people's mind that if you got talent, you may be a super-star wiht lots of money. Fifteen years has passed, we have saw the bad effect that there are so many people participating in these kind of shows that this kind of show has already became into a comprehensive industry. For example, even if you do not have any talents, there would be a group of people could advertise you and make you famous as a celebrity, of course, you should pay them money first, then you will keep on your idol dream. Thus, it has a phenomenon that the people just want to be famous with any means, the society would get bad influnce on this occurence.

In addtion, this abnormal phenomenon would misled the trend of the society. Fewer people would concerntrate on other important fields like education and scientific reasearch. It was said in the 1960s, by the development of TV programes, people fot so many entertainment, as some one called them "amused to death" Surely it is. In the athlethes area, some of these famous players did set up a good example for the youth generation, while we can see there were still lots of scandals of them made them shame, like the Simpson who killed his wife, or the drug abuse among some ahletes. They did have a bad effect on the soceity especailly on the youth.

Finally, it is true that we can see some famous people donate their money on charity,the whole socety should be grateful. To me I really appreciate this kind of behavior while not every one would do charity after being rich, I still belive they would live a millionaire life as some atheletes orentertainers do right now.

In all ,I think famous atheletes and entertainers do not deserve such high salaries as there are more bad effects on the society than good ones.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 202, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , an
...s in these fileds are becoming very rich,an idol could make millions of dollars fro...
^^^
Line 1, column 355, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...they do not deserve such high salaries. Because there are more bad effects than the goo...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 428, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: I
...s than the good ones in this phenomenon.I will address my views as follows. To...
^
Line 3, column 125, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'mislead'
Suggestion: mislead
..., there is ond bad effect that it would misled lots of people to consider thiw would b...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 451, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[1]
Message: Use past participle here: 'sawed', 'sawn', 'seen'.
Suggestion: sawed; sawn; seen
...oney. Fifteen years has passed, we have saw the bad effect that there are so many p...
^^^
Line 3, column 517, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this kind' or 'these kinds'?
Suggestion: this kind; these kinds
...ere are so many people participating in these kind of shows that this kind of show has alr...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 572, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'become'.
Suggestion: become
...hows that this kind of show has already became into a comprehensive industry. For exam...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 44, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'mislead'
Suggestion: mislead
...addtion, this abnormal phenomenon would misled the trend of the society. Fewer people ...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 252, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun entertainment seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much entertainment', 'a good deal of entertainment'.
Suggestion: much entertainment; a good deal of entertainment
...elopment of TV programes, people fot so many entertainment, as some one called them 'amused t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 275, Rule ID: ANY_BODY[1]
Message: Did you mean 'someone'?
Suggestion: someone
...s, people fot so many entertainment, as some one called them 'amused to death'...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 85, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ous people donate their money on charity,the whole socety should be grateful. To me ...
^^^^
Line 9, column 7, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...s orentertainers do right now. In all ,I think famous atheletes and entertainer...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, if, may, really, so, still, then, thus, while, as for, for example, i suppose, i think, kind of, of course, it is true, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 9.8082437276 173% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2113.0 1977.66487455 107% => OK
No of words: 459.0 407.700716846 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.60348583878 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62863751936 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60575374553 2.67179642975 98% => OK
Unique words: 237.0 212.727598566 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.516339869281 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 673.2 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 3.51792114695 171% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.94265232975 162% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 20.6003584229 83% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 20.1344086022 134% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 56.0681740242 48.9658058833 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.294117647 100.406767564 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.0 20.6045352989 131% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.76470588235 5.45110844103 161% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.5376344086 217% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.245551122224 0.236089414692 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0746055034571 0.076458572812 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0601081278162 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147646757364 0.150856017488 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.054901534166 0.0645574589148 85% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 52.53 58.1214874552 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.6 10.1575268817 124% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.7 10.9000537634 89% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.93 8.01818996416 99% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 86.8835125448 99% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 10.0537634409 127% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 10.247311828 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.