Some parent offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer
Undoubtedly, our modern life is much more complicated than the past and being a good parent is very hard nowadays. In my opinion, parents can give money to their children for their good results after final exams. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, giving money encourage children for being more competitive in the classroom which, helps them to focus very well and being successful in courses. There is no doubt that prizes are very attractive for children and it could have positive effect on children education. For example, my brother is a high school student and his grades was very low. Moreover, he spent his whole time with friends playing video games. My parent had a deal with him and told him that if he get a fair score in Math and Biology, they will give him big amount of money and he accepted it. As a result we saw that his behavior changed and he got very good score in the both Courses. it wouldn't possible without money offer to my brother. Thus, based on this experience I think parent should encourage their children with prize or money.
Furthermore, offering money to children can be used as a tool for improving children's life skills. In fact, students can learn that with hard working they can achieve money and it develops their ability. Actually, with this strategy children can know that in the future they will get money for their attempt and effort. For instance, ten years ago when I was in high school, I was distracted by other activities and my grades were low. Although my parent had a rough time, they gave me money before my final tests and told me that we know you do your best and get a very good result. I decided to study hard to make them happy but the result was great not only in my final test even in my future life. offering money have changed my view and I became more responsible for my life. Thus, this is completely clear that our experience during school actually help us in the future.
In conclusion, I strongly feel that money can be a good stimulator for children to study well and parent should give money for high grades. This is because student can be more focused and because children learn how to get money for hard-working and effort.
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| 2023-06-27 | YasamanEsml | 76 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 482, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'gets'.
Suggestion: gets
...a deal with him and told him that if he get a fair score in Math and Biology, they ...
^^^
Line 3, column 672, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ot very good score in the both Courses. it wouldnt possible without money offer to...
^^
Line 3, column 675, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
...very good score in the both Courses. it wouldnt possible without money offer to my brot...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 703, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Offering
...n my final test even in my future life. offering money have changed my view and I becam...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 717, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...t even in my future life. offering money have changed my view and I became more r...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, furthermore, if, moreover, so, thus, well, for example, for instance, i feel, i think, in conclusion, in fact, no doubt, as a result, in my opinion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 15.1003584229 119% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 9.8082437276 133% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 13.8261648746 137% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 66.0 43.0788530466 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1855.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 408.0 407.700716846 100% => OK
Chars per words: 4.54656862745 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.49433085973 4.48103885553 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.32414853793 2.67179642975 87% => OK
Unique words: 201.0 212.727598566 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.492647058824 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 567.9 618.680645161 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 9.59856630824 135% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 27.0641297695 48.9658058833 55% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 88.3333333333 100.406767564 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.4285714286 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.42857142857 5.45110844103 155% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 11.8709677419 135% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.299394534739 0.236089414692 127% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100515051628 0.076458572812 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0600394783519 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.202405592428 0.150856017488 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0344503989647 0.0645574589148 53% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.11 10.9000537634 84% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.21 8.01818996416 90% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 86.8835125448 78% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.