Some parents offer their school age children money for each high grade mark they get in school Do you think this is a good idea Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

These days every person knows the value of money. The children are familiar with this concept and if one asks them, they want to be powerful and rich when the grow up. According to this desire, some parents may use money to encourage their children for good grades. Although they are trying to show their child that having good grades will make their wish of being rich come true, but it also put the foundation of the harmfull habit of idealism.
Idealism means scarce and anxiety from failure. When a person is used to get money for a great mark, he/she will assume this will happen all the time, so after the first time of not getting the perize that he/she believe that deserves it may affect him/her some mental damage. In addition, this gesture make children expectations high that nothing will ever fully satisfies them. This will have many bad effects on the children's future life as an employee of an office. They may expect big amounts of bounes or complement from their boss for something too easy. In this situations these children that are now adults feel ungreatful.
At last this attitude may affect other parents lives who do not have as much money to offer them to their children. Those children with no money as their prize feel unappreciated and think they are not as good as their classmates. These feelings could remain in their minds and they would suffer from low self-steam and confidence.
In conclusion, we are all living on one boat, and our acts and behaviors are very important to get to the destination in safe and health. Parents should threat their children the way that they become self-steam pesron in future as adults.

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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 156, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
... they want to be powerful and rich when the grow up. According to this desire, some pare...
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 214, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'she' must be used with a third-person verb: 'believes'.
Suggestion: believes
...e of not getting the perize that he/she believe that deserves it may affect him/her so...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 235, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...perize that he/she believe that deserves it may affect him/her some mental damage...
^^
Line 2, column 567, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...m their boss for something too easy. In this situations these children that are now ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, so, in addition, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 43.0788530466 104% => OK
Preposition: 32.0 52.1666666667 61% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1369.0 1977.66487455 69% => OK
No of words: 290.0 407.700716846 71% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.72068965517 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.12666770723 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.26950260911 2.67179642975 85% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 212.727598566 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.596551724138 0.524837075471 114% => OK
syllable_count: 409.5 618.680645161 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.51792114695 57% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 19.0 20.1344086022 94% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.0138744043 48.9658058833 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.2666666667 100.406767564 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3333333333 20.6045352989 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.8 5.45110844103 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.297059142829 0.236089414692 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.097530078227 0.076458572812 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0719912651073 0.0737576698707 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.178439342122 0.150856017488 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0545380544571 0.0645574589148 84% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.5 11.7677419355 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 69.11 58.1214874552 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.3 10.1575268817 82% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.36 8.01818996416 92% => OK
difficult_words: 51.0 86.8835125448 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.002688172 75% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 10.0537634409 95% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.