In this modern era, parents care about their children's education and it is their number one priority. Meanwhile, parents use different kinds of motivations, including money, toys, funny vacation, to convince their children to study more and get good grades. However, there is a controversial debate on whether it is true to use money as incentive or not. Some believe there is no problem to use money, but when it comes to me, I think money can have some adverse effect and it is better not to use them for rewarding. In what follows, I will elaborate on my viewpoints.
First of all, for most students, the ultimate goal of education is being a rich person. whether it is good or not, it is the truth. When we give these school-age children money for every grades, they reach to what they want too soon. The best way we can help them is to make them voracious to read and study. Some years ago, I was a math teacher. I had a student who save a lot of money from his rewards that his parents gave him for his good grades in our math class. After a while, he wrongly thought he got what he had wanted. So he lost his thirst to study and his gardes started to decline gradually. It was really hard to persuade him to study after that, because money was not enough for him. He had enough of them.
Second, definitely children receive his daily needed money, and when we reward him with money, that money will be too much. By giving children too much money, we put them in risk of danger. A school-age child may confront two kinds of dangers in this situation. These children are too young to be able to decide what is the best way to expend the money. So they may use the money in a way that can harm them physically or mentally. On the other hand, every society has criminals, they may decide to steal the money from the children. The children are proper prey for them, because they do not know how to defend themselves at all. Thus, if this incident happen to a child, it would be too difficult to remove the bad effects from his mind.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that rewarding for a good grade is one the best strategies to help children to study more. But there a lot of choices which are better than money. Money can have some harmful effects that none of others have.
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- TPO 41 Integrated essay 70
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 88, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whether
...al of education is being a rich person. whether it is good or not, it is the truth. Whe...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, really, second, so, thus, while, i think, in conclusion, first of all, it is true, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 9.8082437276 102% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 13.8261648746 80% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.0286738351 100% => OK
Pronoun: 63.0 43.0788530466 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 50.0 52.1666666667 96% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1857.0 1977.66487455 94% => OK
No of words: 425.0 407.700716846 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.36941176471 4.8611393121 90% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54043259262 4.48103885553 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.29206423939 2.67179642975 86% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 212.727598566 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505882352941 0.524837075471 96% => OK
syllable_count: 578.7 618.680645161 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.94265232975 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 20.6003584229 126% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 20.1344086022 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 33.2244474044 48.9658058833 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 71.4230769231 100.406767564 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.3461538462 20.6045352989 79% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.45110844103 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 3.85842293907 181% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.295142119154 0.236089414692 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0753179754702 0.076458572812 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0600357178701 0.0737576698707 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.181848854732 0.150856017488 121% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329537580538 0.0645574589148 51% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.3 11.7677419355 62% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 72.16 58.1214874552 124% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.2 10.1575268817 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.77 10.9000537634 71% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.14 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 86.8835125448 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 10.0537634409 84% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 10.247311828 78% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.