Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.Do you think this is a good idea?Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay topics:

Some parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school.
Do you think this is a good idea?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

One of the unending debate is how parents should arise their children in a way that help them in their future life. Giving money or gifts on their educational success is one of these debates. In my opinion I think it is a great idea to offer money for the school-age child. I feel this way for two main reasons, I will discuss them in the following essay.

First of all, this is encourages the child and motivates him to do much more better. When he feel that his work is paying back he will continue to move on. My personal experience is a great example. When I was in the ninth grade, I ranked number one on all students. Two days later, my family celebrated me. There were many gifts besides the table, and a small envelope on the table. When I opened it there was a $500 from my parents. This little envelop is unforgettable moment to me until this day. Moreover, this is not just motivates me but my siblings and friends too.

Secondly, this is also help the child to develop budget management skill to buy his own stuff. I mean how to deal with money and how to spend it in a wise way. Going back to my example above, when I received this money I felt more confident of myself because I started planning how to use this huge amount effectively. Therefore, I decided to buy a personal computer since I needed for my school work.

As a conclusion, giving money to a school-age child for high grades is an awesome idea. This motivates the child to continue his great work and also helps him to develop a skill of how to use this money to buy what he wants.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 86, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...d motivates him to do much more better. When he feel that his work is paying back he...
^^^^
Line 3, column 94, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'feels'.
Suggestion: feels
...tes him to do much more better. When he feel that his work is paying back he will co...
^^^^
Line 3, column 385, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ble, and a small envelope on the table. When I opened it there was a 00 from my pare...
^^^^
Line 5, column 24, Rule ID: BEEN_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Consider using a past participle here: 'helped'.
Suggestion: helped
...friends too. Secondly, this is also help the child to develop budget management ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 146, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a wise way" with adverb for "wise"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... to deal with money and how to spend it in a wise way. Going back to my example above, when I...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, besides, but, first, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, therefore, i feel, i mean, i think, first of all, in my opinion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 15.1003584229 86% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 9.8082437276 31% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 6.0 11.0286738351 54% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 52.0 43.0788530466 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1271.0 1977.66487455 64% => OK
No of words: 296.0 407.700716846 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.29391891892 4.8611393121 88% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14784890444 4.48103885553 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.38378292195 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 157.0 212.727598566 74% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.530405405405 0.524837075471 101% => OK
syllable_count: 407.7 618.680645161 66% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 9.59856630824 125% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.86738351254 54% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6003584229 92% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 20.1344086022 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.6820375807 48.9658058833 59% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 66.8947368421 100.406767564 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.5789473684 20.6045352989 76% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.63157894737 5.45110844103 122% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.5376344086 90% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 3.85842293907 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.88709677419 123% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.223438880362 0.236089414692 95% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0682165744994 0.076458572812 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.080337542314 0.0737576698707 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156219435495 0.150856017488 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0738965361732 0.0645574589148 114% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 6.6 11.7677419355 56% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 73.17 58.1214874552 126% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.8 10.1575268817 67% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 7.31 10.9000537634 67% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.1 8.01818996416 89% => OK
difficult_words: 51.0 86.8835125448 59% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 10.002688172 80% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.0537634409 80% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.