Some teenagers take part in different kinds of activities such as musical classes, sports classes and so on, but others only focus on one activity which is important to them. Which idea do you support?

Extracurricular activities play vital roles in our life as doing activities assist in improving our health as well as our mind. Thus, there are no doubt between people of the benefit of playing activities but there are two viewpoints of practicing it. Some teenagers prefer taking part in all kinds of activities, such as musical classes, sports classes and so on, while others prefer focusing only on one activity which is important to them. In my opinion, I support the viewpoint of taking part in all kinds of activities. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
First of all, involving in all kinds of activities is a good way to have fun especially for teenagers because they have plenty of spare time. By taking part in many kinds of activities, they can socialize with people, make friends and reduce their stresses. For instance, when I was at high school, I was involved in extracurricular activities like joining theater and playing basketball in my spare time. Luckily, in this period of time I made friends and had fun with them. We were socializing after playing and that helped me to have good mood and make myself busy away from the stressful life. That’s why; involving in many kinds of activities is important to reduce our anxieties and having a lot of fun.
Second of all, students can find out their interest by taking part in all activities. Everyone has his own hidden hobby but he needs much time to figure it out and therefore his life would be changed radically, my friend is a compelling example of what I mean. When I was at elementary school, I had a friend that was not good at science. She was disappointed because she could not get high grades, and she was not having any interest to work on until her parents let her to involve in many kinds of activities. She played music, swimming, Taekwondo and participated in clothes design. She failed of all of them except the Taekwondo so that she worked in evolving herself and she enrolled in a collage specialize in sports to improve her playing in Taekwondo. Consequently, her life has changed radically. She took many rewards from many countries, and now, she is a Taekwondo trainer and is paid high salary. She became hopeful as she could excel in this kind of sport after several times of failure. Thus, engaging in all kinds of activities is important in exploring one’s interest.
To sum up, I support the viewpoint of taking part in all kinds of activities for two reasons, for letting students have fun and figure out their interest.

Votes
Average: 7.1 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 424, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...ball in my spare time. Luckily, in this period of time I made friends and had fun with them. W...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 587, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ndo and participated in clothes design. She failed of all of them except the Taekwo...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, if, second, so, therefore, thus, well, while, for instance, i feel, i mean, kind of, no doubt, such as, as well as, first of all, in my opinion, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 15.1003584229 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 9.8082437276 61% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 55.0 43.0788530466 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 77.0 52.1666666667 148% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.0752688172 25% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2127.0 1977.66487455 108% => OK
No of words: 450.0 407.700716846 110% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72666666667 4.8611393121 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6057793516 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69355792976 2.67179642975 101% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 212.727598566 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.484444444444 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 662.4 618.680645161 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 15.0 9.59856630824 156% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.94265232975 81% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.3064091676 48.9658058833 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 96.6818181818 100.406767564 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.4545454545 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.18181818182 5.45110844103 150% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 19.0 11.8709677419 160% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.270812329936 0.236089414692 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0832707126668 0.076458572812 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.128946467982 0.0737576698707 175% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.194197946571 0.150856017488 129% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.152420343254 0.0645574589148 236% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.15 10.9000537634 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.54 8.01818996416 94% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 86.8835125448 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 10.002688172 115% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 71.6666666667 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.