Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other adults prefer to live with their family for a longer time. Which of this situation do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your response.
Family plays an important role in everyone's life, and it helps in many ways to shape our lives for the future. Sometimes young adults do not want to live with their families as they feel limitation in their freedom. However, I always prefer to live with my parents for a longer time. I feel this way because I feel more secure while living with my family, I can save money and help my family while staying together, and I do not want to disobey the tradition that are going on in my family for many years.
To begin with, I believe that parents' home is the place that provides us warmness and love. We cannot get this kind of unconditional love anywhere in this world. Our parents' love is unconditional; they care for us with being judgmental. They pamper us from our childhood, and they still care about us even though we are grown as an adult. Besides, I am free of worries when I am with my family as I know they are with me in my difficult time. I can share my problems and difficulties with them. We can confer about my problems, and find the the best solutions of them. If I decide to leave them, I would not have any of them to give me sympathy and cheer me us in my bad time. Thus living with family gives me a sense of secureness.
In addition, I do not have to worry about bills when I am living with my parents. I do not think about my food, do not have to shop for grocery. For example, when I went away from my family for my further education, I had to face very difficult time as I had to plan for my food, I had to do laundry and other chores my own. Furthermore, I had to pay my bills, and buy new furniture for my new home. It was very difficult for me to handle all this things without my family. I do not want to pass through all this situations again. Therefore, I will never leave my family.
Last but not least, in Asian culture, we have traditions of living with family for our whole lives. My parents did the same for their parents, and it is one of the responsibilities that is expected from every child to fulfill in my culture. I do not want to run away from this responsibility. Moreover, if m parents are with me, I do not have to worry about raising my kids as my mother and father will be there fore them to teach them about rules of a society, and play with them. Thus, I want to obey the beliefs of my community.
To sum it up, even though some young adults do not want to live with their families for very long, I always prefer to live with them as long as I can because They make me feel secure, help me to save money, and teach me to follow the traditions to my culture.
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2014-03-13 | kinjalpatel | 75 | view |
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Sentence: We can confer about my problems, and find the the best solutions of them.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to the and the
Sentence: For example, when I went away from my family for my further education, I had to face very difficult time as I had to plan for my food, I had to do laundry and other chores my own.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to chores and my
Sentence: It was very difficult for me to handle all this things without my family.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and things
Sentence: I do not want to pass through all this situations again.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and situations
Sentence: Thus living with family gives me a sense of secureness.
Error: secureness Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
Duplicate words or sentences. Look:
No. of Words: 510 while No. of Different Words: 209
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 510 350
No. of Characters: 2039 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.752 4.7
Average Word Length: 3.998 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.246 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 66 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.476 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.577 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.236 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5