Some young people (14-18) tend to divide their free time to participate in several activities, such as competitive sports, piano, and dance classes. Others prefer to focus on one activity. Which one do you think is better?
In today's world, the way every individual spends his/her time plays a pivotal role in their future and welfare. While some may think youth should invest their energy and time mastering one skill and activity, I subscribe to the opposing view that it is far better for young people to be engaged in more than one activity. First, it will help them to develop various talents, and second, in this way, they can have a richer, more stress-free, and memorable younghood.
Firstly, by participating in various activities, young can develop talents and expand their abilities in a real-world situation. When youth are given the chance to participate in a wide and different range of activities, they are more likely to find their passion and inner abilities. Therefore, they will try to set their goals based on these abilities, and also, they will have a clearer vision of their goal and who they want to present in the community/life. Because their goal and future plans are made upon a deeper knowledge of themselves and their personality, they will have lower chances of regretting the path they choose. At the time when one is unsure of his/her talents, he/she can attend music, basketball, and painting classes to figure out in what way he/she is gifted and exceptional. Talented and passionate people are more likely to succeed in their jobs. For instance, Roger Federer is one of these people that finally found out Tennis is his gift. On the other hand, when someone just tries a single activity, she/he may conclude that it will lead to their success and happiness because they have not tried other things. Despite the fact that they will become experts sooner and faster, later, when they come to understand their real abilities, they miss and regret the past time.
Secondly, trying different classes and skills can help young people to experience a rich and diverse moment, as well as, relaxed time. By participating in a variety of activities, the young can get acquainted with many people of the same age and become more mature. In this process, they will build confidence and soft skills, as well as experience new events that will make them flexible and patient. Later, these skills can help them become a more beneficial person at work. In addition, since they are not focused on just one thing, and are given the chance to take their time, they feel less pressured and stressed about choosing their objective in life. In contrast, young ones that just spend their youth on merely one thing, are less experienced leading them to be concerned and worried about whether they chose the right thing or not. They are more likely to define their existence and life on the single thing at which they are good; hence, when they are tired of it, or when they fail at it, they will lose their interest in living.
In conclusion, although there are benefits to both participating in single or several activities, in my opinion, being able to take part in different activities will open far better happenings, as well as opportunities for young people. First, they will get to know their talents and themselves from various aspects. Second, they will have a more relaxed, happier time while getting mature and experienced during their youth. Is not it what every young wishes for?
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1293, Rule ID: PAST_TIME[1]
Message: Did you mean 'pastime'?
Suggestion: pastime
...eal abilities, they miss and regret the past time. Secondly, trying different classes a...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 196, Rule ID: BOTH_AS_WELL_AS[1]
Message: Probable usage error. Use 'and' after 'both'.
Suggestion: and
...vities will open far better happenings, as well as opportunities for young people. First, ...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, hence, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, while, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in contrast, as well as, in my opinion, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 15.1003584229 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 9.8082437276 214% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 32.0 13.8261648746 231% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.0286738351 127% => OK
Pronoun: 76.0 43.0788530466 176% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2729.0 1977.66487455 138% => OK
No of words: 560.0 407.700716846 137% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.87321428571 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.8645985582 4.48103885553 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.48279539213 2.67179642975 93% => OK
Unique words: 269.0 212.727598566 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.480357142857 0.524837075471 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 846.0 618.680645161 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 2.0 3.08781362007 65% => OK
Subordination: 11.0 3.51792114695 313% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.86738351254 321% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 13.0 4.94265232975 263% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.6003584229 112% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 20.1344086022 119% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.0478652335 48.9658058833 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.652173913 100.406767564 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.347826087 20.6045352989 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.34782608696 5.45110844103 153% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 11.8709677419 152% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.88709677419 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.179549755188 0.236089414692 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0614393701194 0.076458572812 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0437630733314 0.0737576698707 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.129428846881 0.150856017488 86% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0215980036996 0.0645574589148 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 11.7677419355 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 58.1214874552 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.26 10.9000537634 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.15 8.01818996416 102% => OK
difficult_words: 118.0 86.8835125448 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 10.002688172 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 10.0537634409 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.