Teenager is a very critical period in our kids life. parents concern about how they can help young children to build their perfect personality in this crucial age. some parents believe, engagement of kids in job will prepare them for adult life. Other believe, kids should not allowed to work until 18 years old. In my opinion, I do not concur with statement that working part time job encourage teenager to become mature. In the following essay, I will elaborate on A couple reason to explain my point of view about this issue.
In the beginning, allowing teenager to work will let them to neglect their studying. This is mainly due to the fact that, they do not have enough time to do their homework, assignments and prepare for tests. this is example from my real live. When my son was fifteen years old. He started to work in Mc donald. At first, he try to organize his time between working and doing his homework. After a while, he began to neglect his studying because as he said that he do not have enough time. Furthermore, he feel tired after return back from hiis work, and he can not concentrate on school work. with the time, his grade become worse. from my experience, you can see the negative effect of give permission to our kid to do part time job when they are teenager.
In addition, when young kids working they will be financial independent from their parents. As a result, this will decrease their loyalty to them. this is because they feel that their demand on their parents decrease, they do not more need them. And as we all know, the kids can not recognize the right from wrong completely .
In conclusion, this statement is not as persuasive as it stands. this is based on expositions that mentions above. working part time has negative impact on education process of teenagers. in addition, it will decrease their loyalty to their parents.
Teenager is a very critical period in our kids life. parents concern about how they can help young children to build their perfect personality in this crucial age. some parents believe, engagement of kids in job will prepare them for adult life. Other believe, kids should not allowed to work until 18 years old. In my opinion, I do not concur with statement that working part time job encourage teenager to become mature. In the following essay, I will elaborate on A couple reason to explain my point of view about this issue.
In the beginning, allowing teenager to work will let them to neglect their studying. This is mainly due to the fact that, they do not have enough time to do their homework, assignments and prepare for tests. this is example from my real live. When my son was fifteen years old. He started to work in Mc donald. At first, he try to organize his time between working and doing his homework. After a while, he began to neglect his studying because as he said that he do not have enough time. Furthermore, he feel tired after return back from hiis work, and he can not concentrate on school work. with the time, his grade become worse. from my experience, you can see the negative effect of give permission to our kid to do part time job when they are teenager.
In addition, when young kids working they will be financial independent from their parents. As a result, this will decrease their loyalty to them. this is because they feel that their demand on their parents decrease, they do not more need them. And as we all know, the kids can not recognize the right from wrong completely .
In conclusion, this statement is not as persuasive as it stands. this is based on expositions that mentions above. working part time has negative impact on education process of teenagers. in addition, it will decrease their loyalty to their parents.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2021-06-28 | talelaldabous | 60 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
Teenager is a very critical period in ou...
^^
Line 1, column 56, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Parents
... very critical period in our kids life. parents concern about how they can help young c...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 167, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Some
...erfect personality in this crucial age. some parents believe, engagement of kids in ...
^^^^
Line 1, column 280, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: 'allow'
Suggestion: allow
...lt life. Other believe, kids should not allowed to work until 18 years old. In my opini...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 288, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[2]
Message: Did you mean 'working'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: working
... Other believe, kids should not allowed to work until 18 years old. In my opinion, I do...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 375, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
... not concur with statement that working part time job encourage teenager to become mature...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 2, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...n my point of view about this issue. In the beginning, allowing teenager to wor...
^^
Line 2, column 210, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: This
...ork, assignments and prepare for tests. this is example from my real live. When my s...
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Line 2, column 245, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “When” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...sts. this is example from my real live. When my son was fifteen years old. He starte...
^^^^
Line 2, column 326, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'tries'.
Suggestion: tries
...rted to work in Mc donald. At first, he try to organize his time between working an...
^^^
Line 2, column 507, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[1]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'feels'.
Suggestion: feels
...o not have enough time. Furthermore, he feel tired after return back from hiis work,...
^^^^
Line 2, column 524, Rule ID: RETURN_BACK[1]
Message: Use simply 'return'.
Suggestion: return
... time. Furthermore, he feel tired after return back from hiis work, and he can not concentr...
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Line 2, column 595, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: With
... he can not concentrate on school work. with the time, his grade become worse. from ...
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Suggestion: From
... with the time, his grade become worse. from my experience, you can see the negative...
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Line 2, column 722, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...ect of give permission to our kid to do part time job when they are teenager. In addit...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... part time job when they are teenager. In addition, when young kids working the...
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Line 3, column 149, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...is will decrease their loyalty to them. this is because they feel that their demand ...
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Line 3, column 294, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... we all know, the kids can not recognize the right from wrong completely . In c...
^^
Line 3, column 327, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...cognize the right from wrong completely . In conclusion, this statement is not ...
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Line 4, column 66, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
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Suggestion: This
...ment is not as persuasive as it stands. this is based on expositions that mentions a...
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Line 4, column 116, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Working
...sed on expositions that mentions above. working part time has negative impact on educat...
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Line 4, column 124, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: part-time
...xpositions that mentions above. working part time has negative impact on education proces...
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Line 4, column 189, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
...pact on education process of teenagers. in addition, it will decrease their loyalt...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, furthermore, if, so, while, in addition, in conclusion, as a result, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 9.8082437276 122% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 13.8261648746 29% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.0286738351 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 56.0 43.0788530466 130% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 49.0 52.1666666667 94% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1538.0 1977.66487455 78% => OK
No of words: 331.0 407.700716846 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.64652567976 4.8611393121 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.26537283232 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.41646623055 2.67179642975 90% => OK
Unique words: 171.0 212.727598566 80% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.516616314199 0.524837075471 98% => OK
syllable_count: 468.0 618.680645161 76% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 9.59856630824 177% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 10.0 4.94265232975 202% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.6003584229 117% => OK
Sentence length: 13.0 20.1344086022 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 28.0289718664 48.9658058833 57% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 64.0833333333 100.406767564 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 13.7916666667 20.6045352989 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.70833333333 5.45110844103 68% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 23.0 5.5376344086 415% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 11.8709677419 42% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.85842293907 233% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.88709677419 205% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.362831100577 0.236089414692 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.10926714375 0.076458572812 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.140944743775 0.0737576698707 191% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.251051148056 0.150856017488 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.208008040373 0.0645574589148 322% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 7.4 11.7677419355 63% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 75.2 58.1214874552 129% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 6.0 10.1575268817 59% => Flesch kincaid grade is low.
coleman_liau_index: 9.1 10.9000537634 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.43 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 66.0 86.8835125448 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.2 10.0537634409 72% => OK
text_standard: 7.0 10.247311828 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.