TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.Use specific reasons and examples to suppo

Everybody comes to the world for a specific purpose and has a talent to follow a mission. We all have god given talents and try to involve in different activities for pursuing our purposes. These activities may be in a direct efficient way such as studying, improving body health by sports and challenging mental capacities for new areas of work/ research or may be some of those we do for entertainment and have nothing to improve us in the field of study or career.
Some believe that we need to increase our capacity in daily life by personal hobbies. They help in not being so exhausted and improve our ability to work more efficiently. Some others argue that the extensive entertaining can distract us from what we have to do and as a result we supposed to restrain such activities. I believe that in recent years people are more interested in spending time on personal entertainment instead of their careers or health improving.
The main reason of this inclination to personal hobbies is the increased area of things that one would entertain. By the emergence of technology in twenty first century, the number of facilities invented for personal-entertainment is increasing. Nowadays, entertaining is has a big commercial value in the world. There are a lot of places constructed for having fun such as bars, dancing clubs, music halls, concerts and out-door activities. In addition, the technology is also inventing new game-playing applications and tools that one would enjoy even by staying at home, which can waste a great amount of a person's precious time.
It's a question that why self-enjoying activities are so appealing for us. The reason underlies beneath the brain's inclination toward saving energy for the body by less energy taking options. Thus, we prefer to gather in a fast-food restaurant with friends instead of going to the gym and taking some sport courses together. Similarly, it takes more fuel-effective for the brain to hang around and have fun with friends rather than studying from day to night at home. Some psychology researchers also claim that our minds are responsive for short-term results. In this regard, a day of enjoying with friend provokes the reward-related areas of brain faster than the final exam scores which is in close relation with long time studying.
To sum up, we all need to spend some time for our personal hobbies, but, the number of self-entertaining activities may exceed, because of the commercial benefit of such activities and the basis role of enjoyment in the brain. Hence, it's necessary to keep out time and use them in a precise manner.

Votes
Average: 9 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 148, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
Suggestion: twenty-first
...tain. By the emergence of technology in twenty first century, the number of facilities inven...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 161, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'century' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'centuries'.
Suggestion: centuries
...emergence of technology in twenty first century, the number of facilities invented for ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 608, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'a person' or simply 'persons'?
Suggestion: a person; persons
...home, which can waste a great amount of a persons precious time. Its a question that wh...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: IT_IS[6]
Message: Did you mean 'it's' (='it is') instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Suggestion: It's; It is
...at amount of a persons precious time. Its a question that why self-enjoying activ...
^^^
Line 4, column 108, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'brains'' or 'brain's'?
Suggestion: brains'; brain's
...or us. The reason underlies beneath the brains inclination toward saving energy for th...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 278, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a precise manner" with adverb for "precise"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...necessary to keep out time and use them in a precise manner.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, if, may, similarly, so, thus, in addition, such as, as a result, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 12.0 15.1003584229 79% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 13.8261648746 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 43.0788530466 77% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 52.1666666667 132% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2173.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 438.0 407.700716846 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.96118721461 4.8611393121 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.57476223824 4.48103885553 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.97605958125 2.67179642975 111% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 212.727598566 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.557077625571 0.524837075471 106% => OK
syllable_count: 675.9 618.680645161 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 6.0 3.08781362007 194% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.51792114695 28% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.6003584229 97% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.1295351005 48.9658058833 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.65 100.406767564 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.95 5.45110844103 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 11.8709677419 143% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 3.85842293907 26% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.133999297179 0.236089414692 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0373290440598 0.076458572812 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0286619155363 0.0737576698707 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0726435335741 0.150856017488 48% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0238246116786 0.0645574589148 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.49 10.9000537634 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.43 8.01818996416 105% => OK
difficult_words: 104.0 86.8835125448 120% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 10.002688172 140% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 90.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 27.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.