TPO-05 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.Use specific reasons and examples to support

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TPO-05 - Independent Writing Task

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do.

Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

This is quite a relative and widespread topic that people today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-do things they like to do rather than doing things they should do. In my point of view, people have become more alert, ambitious; understand the importance of time and responsible for their professional and familial responsibilities.
First of all, today’s students are working hard to shine in every field like study, competitive exams, sports, joining different types of clubs, and doing volunteering work at various places, so that they can get an admission at the best university and can have better future. I do not think that their alertness and ambitions would allow them to spend their time for their personal enjoyment like going for shopping, watching movies and hanging out with their friends.
Second, today’s world is highly competitive and each professional has to work hard in order not only to get promotion but even to maintain their present position. If employees do not show their best performance, then they may be fired by the authority. Today, so many professions demand continuing education to get the latest knowledge, to keep updated and to learn new skills. Many professionals also regularly attend seminars and conferences for the same purposes. So, I think that people do the activities, they should do in order to achieve their overall progress, rather do things they like to do like going for shopping, gossiping on phones and chatting at the social websites. Even, after job hours, people spend their time with their family members, to take care of children and old parents.
Finally, today rules and regulations have become more strict, a life of all the people is being watched by the road cameras. At workplace also, all the staff members’ activities are monitored by closed-circuit television, so that the lazy members can’t do other activities like sleeping, watching on-line movies, or doing on-line shopping. Hence, in certain situations, common public is forced to do the things they should do as a part of their duty. Today, all the professionals like doctors, therapists, nurses, teachers, politicians, businessmen, actresses, other artists, and soldiers are working hard as they have responsibilities towards their society and country. Ethically and morally, they all are bound to serve their community and country. So, I think, there is no place only for their personal enjoyment. Now, people understand that fun is good to get mental and physical relaxation, but it should not be at the cost of their duties.
In a nutshell, today’s human is being scheduled and restricted by own aspiration, responsibilities, and in certain situations by rules and regulations.
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Comments

flaws:
a lot of sentences have subject 'people' and 'they'

Don't need ' I think'

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 438 350
No. of Characters: 2206 1500
No. of Different Words: 227 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.575 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.037 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.774 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.737 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.31 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.038 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5