TPO-08 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In modern days, television is a very influential medium, which affects our rational think regarding any matter related to our daily life. And in case of developing young kid, it is a matter of serious concern. Yes, I agree with the statement that television directed towards young children should not be allowed. There are following reason, will describe in the essay.
To begin with, there are several scientific reports about the brain development process in young kids. According to these reports, in the kids, the brain development process is very active, and it goes under several structural modifications, for example, synapse formation, which is the primarily source of memory storage. Modification of these synapse depends on the surrounding, in other words, our surrounding has positive and negative regulation of the brain development process. According to the several research, data shows that television advertising has a negative effect on the brain development, for example, for example, one of my relatives has a baby of 3 year old. This baby exposed to television in a very younger stage, and now facing some delay in cognitive consolidation and currently he is in under proper medication.
Secondly, television advertisement reduces the ability of learning, there are several scientific proof, which explains the scientific mechanism behind it. For example, my 5 year son is addicted towards the television, and now, he has the problem to remember stuff. According to the doctors, neurotransmitter release is affected tv.
Finally, In advertisements, there are several stuff, which is not real and it is tough for the young kids to identify. They start behaving like that and put themselves in a bad situation. Some advertisement are morally wrong for the kids.
In conclusion, television advertisement has a negative impact on our developing kids.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 144, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...According to these reports, in the kids, the brain development process is very ac...
^^
Line 2, column 341, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this synapse' or 'these synapses'?
Suggestion: this synapse; these synapses
...urce of memory storage. Modification of these synapse depends on the surrounding, in other wo...
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Line 2, column 503, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[8]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun research seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'some research'.
Suggestion: some research
...n development process. According to the several research, data shows that television advertising...
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Line 3, column 218, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... son is addicted towards the television, and now, he has the problem to remember ...
^^
Line 4, column 39, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[8]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun stuff seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'some stuff'.
Suggestion: some stuff
... Finally, In advertisements, there are several stuff, which is not real and it is tough for ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 87, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...negative impact on our developing kids.
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, if, regarding, second, secondly, so, for example, in conclusion, in other words, to begin with

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 13.8261648746 58% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 21.0 43.0788530466 49% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 52.1666666667 75% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 8.0752688172 173% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1578.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 294.0 407.700716846 72% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.36734693878 4.8611393121 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.14082457966 4.48103885553 92% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.09230630382 2.67179642975 116% => OK
Unique words: 159.0 212.727598566 75% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.540816326531 0.524837075471 103% => OK
syllable_count: 501.3 618.680645161 81% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.51630824373 112% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 3.51792114695 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 18.0 20.1344086022 89% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.0802913602 48.9658058833 100% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.625 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.375 20.6045352989 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.4375 5.45110844103 118% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.5376344086 108% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 11.8709677419 34% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 3.85842293907 259% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.88709677419 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.139071998057 0.236089414692 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0566191910957 0.076458572812 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0996539378626 0.0737576698707 135% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0866007193442 0.150856017488 57% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0777551657835 0.0645574589148 120% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 11.7677419355 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 58.1214874552 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 10.1575268817 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 10.9000537634 127% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.61 8.01818996416 107% => OK
difficult_words: 76.0 86.8835125448 87% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 10.0537634409 92% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.247311828 88% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200

Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.