TPO-09 - Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement?Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Submitted by toefl2012 on Mon, 05/13/2019 - 15:06

Technology has a tremendous impact on our progress and well-being. In fact, technology can enhance our success in immeasurable ways because it encompasses our core values. Therefore, I adamantly disagree that Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past because it opens a lot of opportunities for children to learn and create.
First and foremost, technology and the internet has an incredible influence for kids to learn about any topics they want, and give them a lot of ideas to be applied for them. For example, if a teacher asked a student to apply for a school project, he would find many notions on the internet. Needless to say, a student would save a lot of time due to the fact that he already has the concept so he would focus on adding details and making the project more attractive. Even though some people would oppose this opinion, but in fact, details are making the project fascinating. consequently, the technology would increase kids creativity and make their ideas more likable.
Secondly, the advent of technology, the internet, and new innovations have significantly contributed the ways of thinking and creating for kids. Needless to say, children are curious and always trying to make things with their hands. For example, if kids are trying to do an experiment and it fails, they would never give up and keep trying till they get the results they want. Sometimes they use the internet to figure out the causes and trying to avoid it with the next trail. The real breakthrough is making kids think and think and retry, this will enhance their cognitive concepts. So technology is one of the most cause to augmenting the rate of thinking for kids.
Due to the aforementioned reasons, I firmly disagree that technology had made kids less creative than they were in the past because Technology has an enormous impact to increase creativity for kids.

Votes
Average: 7 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Independent TOEFL Writing
Essays by the user:
>>> more essays by the user >>>

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ties for children to learn and create. First and foremost, technology and the i...
^^^
Line 2, column 579, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Consequently
...ils are making the project fascinating. consequently, the technology would increase kids cre...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ity and make their ideas more likable. Secondly, the advent of technology, the ...
^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...menting the rate of thinking for kids. Due to the aforementioned reasons, I fir...
^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, consequently, first, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, well, as to, for example, in fact

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 15.1003584229 60% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 9.8082437276 82% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 13.8261648746 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 11.0286738351 27% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 29.0 43.0788530466 67% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 52.1666666667 71% => OK
Nominalization: 4.0 8.0752688172 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1578.0 1977.66487455 80% => OK
No of words: 322.0 407.700716846 79% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90062111801 4.8611393121 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.23607819155 4.48103885553 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72981896423 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 161.0 212.727598566 76% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.5 0.524837075471 95% => OK
syllable_count: 486.0 618.680645161 79% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 5.0 3.08781362007 162% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.94265232975 20% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.6003584229 73% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.4199047296 48.9658058833 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.2 100.406767564 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.4666666667 20.6045352989 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.4 5.45110844103 117% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.5376344086 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 11.8709677419 84% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.85842293907 52% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.167474980255 0.236089414692 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.062582151671 0.076458572812 82% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0886561884837 0.0737576698707 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.142570492926 0.150856017488 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0931681824598 0.0645574589148 144% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.4 11.7677419355 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.14 10.9000537634 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.11 8.01818996416 101% => OK
difficult_words: 70.0 86.8835125448 81% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 10.002688172 120% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 10.247311828 117% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------
We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.