TPO-10 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

As a matter of fact, children love computer games and there are many companies that they are always producing new products. In my view, I strongly believe that parents should be aware of some harmful effects of these products and try to avoid their children to be addicted. Undoubtedly, new introduced products are attractive for all ages, but parents have a huge mission to be aware of these negative effects on their children and their society.
First and foremost, children should focus on their homework. They do not have that much time to spend in front of some social medias such as computers or cell phones. School works are really important for students' future, so they should pay more attention to their lessons and do not waste their time by some fruitless games.
Second, children should learn about communication and other social activities. As everybody knows, people have to find some friends and be in some communities or other social groups. Each kid needs to spend some hours with his/her family to make a good relationship with them. These social activities needs time and attitude. Scientists found out that children will feel alone after a long time of computer games, so these online games are unnecessary for young people and can ruin their mental health.
Last but not least, computer games will make children anxious, so they should spend time and money to fix the new problem. Researchers in Irvine University found out that students, who spend many hour in front of computers will have bad feelings more than others. As an illustration, my brother had a big tendency to play online games on computer. He was spending his whole holidays on these games. After a while, my mother found out that he is so anxious. They went to a psychologist and paid her a lot to solve his issue.
To sum up, although children have a tendency to spend their time with some new games, parents should be aware of bad influences on their child and try to stop them.

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and there are many companies that they are always producing new products
and there are many companies that are always producing new products

These social activities needs time
These social activities need time

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Don't repeat words, phrases and sentences. for example, 'be aware of' is used three times. 'found out' is used three times.

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 19 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 342 350
No. of Characters: 1589 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.3 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.646 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.377 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 96 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.542 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.325 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.137 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5