There is no doubt that money is one of the basic requirements of our lives. People spend more time and efforts in order to gain more of it. Thus, some people believe that we should teach the children how to manage their own money at a young age to become responsible adults in the future. I utterly agree with this opinion for the following reasons.
To begin with, children usually do not know the value of the money. they just want us to buy something for them without paying any attention to the price. If we let them continue in this careless behavior, then, they would grow to be unresponsible adults. Researches have proven that most of the skills that children acquired during their childhood will be strongly solidified and continue with them when they grow up. In fact, I entirely believe in this because my own experience is a compelling example of this, when I was at the primary school, my father used to give us a monthly expense for the school instead of giving us money every day. At the start, I used to spend the money to buy candy with my friends and also to buy new games. My father did not say anything regarding that in spite of knowing everything, but he preferred to watch silently. So, at the end of the month, I run out of money and I asked him for more but he refused and told me if I want extra money I have to work in order to get it. I remembered that I started to do some work like cleaning his car to get the money. This experience taught me that it is really hard to get money, so, we have to use it wisely. Accordingly, the months after I became more conscious even I was able to save some money at the end of the month, and after ten months I had a considerable amount of money that enables me to open my first bank account. This experience helped me to be more responsible later one in my life.
Secondly, giving the children the control over their money will make them more confident, and that, in turn, will have positive effects on the other aspects of their lives. This is because they will feel that their parents trust them. Moreover, they will be more responsible for their decision when they become adult. For example, a friend of mine who is a famous businessman has told me that the secret behind his success is their parent. when he was a child his parent had a big farm and he uses to go there every weekend. When he reached ten years old his father gave him a small land as a birthday gift, he was disappointed because he wanted a video game. but his father advised him to invest the land in order to get in order to have the money to buy what he wants. so, he decided to cultivate wheat. this was his first step into the business life, as he said this experience enables him to gain very important knowledge about business management and raised his confidence. Furthermore, he became more excellent in the school in order to increase his grade to enter one of the reputable economy colleges around the world. Thus, his life changed in a considerable manner.
In conclusion, children can become more responsible if they learn how to appreciate money since their childhood. thus, the parent should give their children opportunity to manage their own money.
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- TPO-08 - Integrated Writing Task Toward the end of his life, the Chevalier de Seingalt (1725-1798) wrote a long memoir recounting his life and adventures. The Chevalier was a somewhat controversial figure, but since he met many famous people, including ki 73
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 69, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: They
...lly do not know the value of the money. they just want us to buy something for them ...
^^^^
Line 5, column 441, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...ret behind his success is their parent. when he was a child his parent had a big far...
^^^^
Line 5, column 662, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...ointed because he wanted a video game. but his father advised him to invest the la...
^^^
Line 5, column 773, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...to have the money to buy what he wants. so, he decided to cultivate wheat. this wa...
^^
Line 5, column 808, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: This
...nts. so, he decided to cultivate wheat. this was his first step into the business li...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1152, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a considerable manner" with adverb for "considerable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...round the world. Thus, his life changed in a considerable manner. In conclusion, children can become...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 114, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Thus
...appreciate money since their childhood. thus, the parent should give their children ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
accordingly, also, but, first, furthermore, if, moreover, really, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, thus, as to, for example, in conclusion, in fact, no doubt, in spite of, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 15.1003584229 106% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 9.8082437276 92% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 13.8261648746 87% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 11.0286738351 154% => OK
Pronoun: 102.0 43.0788530466 237% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 84.0 52.1666666667 161% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2622.0 1977.66487455 133% => OK
No of words: 591.0 407.700716846 145% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.43654822335 4.8611393121 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.93056706295 4.48103885553 110% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42365809189 2.67179642975 91% => OK
Unique words: 270.0 212.727598566 127% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.456852791878 0.524837075471 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 837.0 618.680645161 135% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 19.0 9.59856630824 198% => OK
Article: 3.0 3.08781362007 97% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.86738351254 214% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.94265232975 121% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.6003584229 141% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 47.890258021 48.9658058833 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 90.4137931034 100.406767564 90% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3793103448 20.6045352989 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.58620689655 5.45110844103 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.5376344086 126% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 20.0 11.8709677419 168% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.88709677419 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.201691935233 0.236089414692 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0619726298304 0.076458572812 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0648743262506 0.0737576698707 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.174904272643 0.150856017488 116% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0741666768606 0.0645574589148 115% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.7 11.7677419355 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 68.1 58.1214874552 117% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 10.1575268817 86% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.47 10.9000537634 78% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.06 8.01818996416 88% => OK
difficult_words: 91.0 86.8835125448 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.002688172 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 70.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 21.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.