TPO-21 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your ans

Many people discuss whether it is more important to cooperate with other people or be excellent on individual performance. While I do not deny that studying hard to improve your individual skill is important I believe that to be successful in one's job the ability to relate with other people is more important.

The main reason I believe so is because no matter how hard one tries he/she cannot be perfect with everything. In order to succeed in a project or a job he/she needs to get help from others to cover their weakness. To do so the ability to relate well with others is crucial because we have to make others wanting to help us. To illustrate this with my own experience, while I was doing an internship at Samsung I had to do a project related to network. Although I had all A's on transcript I didn't take a course related to network so I was bound to fail the project. Luckily, I had a friend of mine who was excellent in that field and because I had a good relationship with him he gladly helped me finish the project. It was my ability to relate with others not my personal skill that went me through my difficulty.

Moreover, nowadays since technology is getting more advance companies are requiring people to work as a group. Develop, Marketing, Design or whatever you work in you have to work as a team. Thus, it is becoming an essential to know how to relate with people otherwise, you will not have much of a use to any of the companies. Employers picking employees just by their individual performance is a thing in the past. That is why companies are trying new ways to interview new recruitment like grouping people together and watch how they cooperate with other people or whether they keep their manners to others etc. Therefore, ability to relate with other people is not just important but it is becoming a necessary.

To sum up, from the reasons I mention above I believe that cooperation is more important than knowledge.

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Average: 6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 125, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...be excellent on individual performance. While I do not deny that studying hard to imp...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 493, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
.... Although I had all As on transcript I didnt take a course related to network so I w...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, if, moreover, so, therefore, thus, well, while, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 15.1003584229 139% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 9.8082437276 20% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.0286738351 63% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 47.0 43.0788530466 109% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 52.1666666667 111% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 8.0752688172 87% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1606.0 1977.66487455 81% => OK
No of words: 351.0 407.700716846 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.5754985755 4.8611393121 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.48103885553 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.67900510786 2.67179642975 100% => OK
Unique words: 174.0 212.727598566 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.495726495726 0.524837075471 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 519.3 618.680645161 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 9.59856630824 52% => OK
Article: 1.0 3.08781362007 32% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.51792114695 85% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.86738351254 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.94265232975 101% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.6003584229 78% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.1344086022 104% => OK
Sentence length SD: 31.8570415097 48.9658058833 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 100.375 100.406767564 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9375 20.6045352989 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.875 5.45110844103 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.5376344086 36% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 11.8709677419 67% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 3.85842293907 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.250472221517 0.236089414692 106% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0891856195048 0.076458572812 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0709964825196 0.0737576698707 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.163589291949 0.150856017488 108% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0590061688035 0.0645574589148 91% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 11.7677419355 94% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 58.1214874552 101% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 10.1575268817 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.28 10.9000537634 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.6 8.01818996416 95% => OK
difficult_words: 65.0 86.8835125448 75% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 10.002688172 110% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.0537634409 103% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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We are expecting: No. of Words: 350 while No. of Different Words: 200
Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:

para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.

So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:

reasons == advantages or

reasons == disadvantages

for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.

or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.


Rates: 60.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 18.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.