TPO 21(independent)Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school.

There is no doubt that getting a success in a future job depends on many factors. In the past few years, competitions among the employees have become a real challenge, and it is hard to compete with them. Some argue that having background information is a key factor which assists greatly to reach the target of being an excellent employee at the workplace. While others hold the different idea that the ability to communicate well with other people is more important. From my perspective, the latter view carries more weight. I take the position on account for the following reasons.
Primarily, communication skill is required at every place whether is a social place or the work place. If a person has enough knowledge but cannot communicate well with others, then a person may not express well his opinion to the others. Gradually it may transfer into one type of fear which may build into the person's mind for the lifetime. For instance, one of my close friends was very intelligent in school and used to get a good score in the exam, though she was never able to explain her answer in front of the other students in the class. Later in life, it became a big problem for her as she could not be able to answer properly in the job interview. Hence, even though my friend was brilliant enough, her communication fear got her into trouble many times.
Furthermore, the work environment requires many social skills that are necessary for success. Work can be done better by expressing an individual's thoughts rather than having knowledge of the task. Additionally, good communication skill would help the employee to attract more customers in the marketing field, and it would help in creating a good relationship with the customers. Every time, having knowledge would not play the foremost role at workplace. For example, bill gates did not finish his college, however, he is the most successful business person in the world.
Admittedly, studying hard is also an important element to get a job, however, it is not the only factor that works to get a success in the future job. To that problem, the students are acquired to study for the additional social behavior classes in the school. As a result, the students would gain educational knowledge, and the extra class helps them to improve their interpersonal social behavior.
All in all, I strongly believe that relating to other people is more crucial than studying hard in school. This is because the need of communication skill and the practical knowledge depend mainly on the building a relationship with the other people in the real environment of work.

Votes
Average: 8 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 359, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...an excellent employee at the workplace. While others hold the different idea that the...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, so, then, well, while, for example, for instance, no doubt, as a result

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 15.1003584229 126% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 9.8082437276 112% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 13.8261648746 51% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.0286738351 82% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 43.0788530466 70% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 52.1666666667 104% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 8.0752688172 124% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2173.0 1977.66487455 110% => OK
No of words: 446.0 407.700716846 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.87219730942 4.8611393121 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.5955099915 4.48103885553 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72051456554 2.67179642975 102% => OK
Unique words: 239.0 212.727598566 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535874439462 0.524837075471 102% => OK
syllable_count: 668.7 618.680645161 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.51630824373 99% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 9.59856630824 73% => OK
Article: 4.0 3.08781362007 130% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.51792114695 142% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.86738351254 161% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.94265232975 61% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.6003584229 107% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 20.1344086022 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.8752924067 48.9658058833 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 98.7727272727 100.406767564 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2727272727 20.6045352989 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.45454545455 5.45110844103 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.53405017921 110% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.5376344086 18% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 11.8709677419 93% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.85842293907 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.88709677419 102% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.231590510081 0.236089414692 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0652020515915 0.076458572812 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0613084140952 0.0737576698707 83% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135686286149 0.150856017488 90% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0504800356957 0.0645574589148 78% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 11.7677419355 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 58.1214874552 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 6.10430107527 144% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 10.1575268817 97% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.97 10.9000537634 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.01818996416 97% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 86.8835125448 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 10.002688172 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 10.0537634409 99% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 10.247311828 98% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 80 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 24 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.