Studying is the most important thing for learning skills and information. By studying we can maintain our knowledge and guarantee it for a long period of time. Some parents might find offering their children some money because of their good grades is a good and effective idea in order to encourage them to learn more things by studying more. However, others disagree and believe that ordering their children rewards because of their grades would make them lazy for doing their other stuff. In my view, encouraging children by offering the things that they like, such as money, is a wise choice because of two reasons.
First, children may not be aware of how their learning could affect their future. Children with lower ages, usually don't care about what is going to happen for them in the upcoming days or years. They mostly concern about how to entertain themselves for example by playing with other kids or watching TV. However, no one could blame them because of their way of thinking and their concepts about life because all normal humans have experienced this period of life and know about its circumstances. For instance, I remember when I was in elementary school, I wasn't interested in studying and would always seek for different ways to play and run away from doing the school's homework. My mother was really mad at me in that moment and didn't know what to do to convince me to study my courses. After a while, one of her friends suggested her to encourage me to study and pay more attention to school by offering some rewards instead of intimidating and warnings about the consequences that not doing them may have. With this trick, I was convinced to study more and consume more time for doing my school works. However, after entering the high school I was already aware of the importance of studying and I didn't need those rewards to persuade me to try more. That was because in that moment I knew that studying could help me to have a better chance to enter top universities and, after that, attending a job that is more suitable and offers a more salary. So this experience of mine completely shows how offering kids money (or other stuff) could convince them to study more.
Second, by doing this, children may develop other skills rather than just trying harder to study. For example, in those years that I got some money from my mother, I didn't spend them immediately after getting it, but instead, I usually had tried to accumulate some in order to be able to buy bigger things which needed more money. As you can clearly see, I developed a skill in myself which is now helping me in my adult life and now I can manage my expenses more easily.
Considering the two reasons I gave, offering children some rewards is a smart move that all parents could try to use to convince their children to learn more. Not only does it encourage them to try harder, but also it develops some other skills in them which it would be useful in their future.
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- TPO-46 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?The opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important to younger people than they are to older people.Use specific reasons and exam 76
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 145, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...r knowledge and guarantee it for a long period of time. Some parents might find offering their...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 117, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ture. Children with lower ages, usually dont care about what is going to happen for ...
^^^^
Line 3, column 559, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...mber when I was in elementary school, I wasnt interested in studying and would always...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 665, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'schools'' or 'school's'?
Suggestion: schools'; school's
...ays to play and run away from doing the schools homework. My mother was really mad at m...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 733, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...was really mad at me in that moment and didnt know what to do to convince me to study...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1204, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...are of the importance of studying and I didnt need those rewards to persuade me to tr...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 167, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...that I got some money from my mother, I didnt spend them immediately after getting it...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 114, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
...mart move that all parents could try to use to convince their children to learn mor...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, really, second, so, while, for example, for instance, such as, in my view
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 15.1003584229 99% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 9.8082437276 163% => OK
Conjunction : 21.0 13.8261648746 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.0286738351 136% => OK
Pronoun: 79.0 43.0788530466 183% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 74.0 52.1666666667 142% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 8.0752688172 62% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2445.0 1977.66487455 124% => OK
No of words: 527.0 407.700716846 129% => OK
Chars per words: 4.6394686907 4.8611393121 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79129216042 4.48103885553 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.37357058076 2.67179642975 89% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 212.727598566 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.468690702087 0.524837075471 89% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 755.1 618.680645161 122% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.51630824373 92% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 9.59856630824 94% => OK
Article: 0.0 3.08781362007 0% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.51792114695 114% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.86738351254 107% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.94265232975 182% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.6003584229 102% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 20.1344086022 124% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 45.4085011071 48.9658058833 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.428571429 100.406767564 116% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0952380952 20.6045352989 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.19047619048 5.45110844103 95% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.53405017921 88% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.5376344086 144% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 11.8709677419 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.85842293907 130% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.88709677419 61% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238708482042 0.236089414692 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0795497141319 0.076458572812 104% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0516378889041 0.0737576698707 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.156387284808 0.150856017488 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0413208484787 0.0645574589148 64% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 11.7677419355 110% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 63.02 58.1214874552 108% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.10430107527 51% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 10.1575268817 105% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 9.93 10.9000537634 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.42 8.01818996416 93% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 86.8835125448 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 10.002688172 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 10.0537634409 119% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 10.247311828 107% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: conclusion.
So how to find out those reasons. There is a formula:
reasons == advantages or
reasons == disadvantages
for example, we can always apply 'save time', 'save/make money', 'find a job', 'make friends', 'get more information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
or we can apply 'waste time', 'waste money', 'no job', 'make bad friends', 'get bad information' as reasons to all essay/speaking topics.
Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.